“What? No, I don’t want to smoke pot.”

“Try it man, it feels so good!”

Zaphod had had it with this guy. He pulled out the Battle Rifle he had on him and aimed it at the hippie. “Just walk away, and nobody dies. Alright?”

He put his hands up. “Okay, sorry man, I didn’t want no trouble or anything.” He walked away.

On the way to “base”, instances like this kept happening, until finally, someone good came along. He was the only recruit accepted. They continued on to “base”.

********************

Zaphod and the new recruit, apparently named Kenny, got back to base, and Zaphod got Kenny some equipment. Then he noticed something conspicuous happening in the backyard. There were messages popping up like mad, saying stuff like “You cook the meat.” “You burnt the meat.” “You’ve increased your cooking level!” Zaphod was furious, but Kenny was plain confused, much like the guys were that night they fought the Ninja.

“What did I tell you about cheating???” screamed Zaphod. He caught everyone off guard, and iFondle burned himself on the fire he just leveled up his firemaking on.

They all just stood there.

“I told you! This is the real world, NOT Runescape!” Then he noticed something. He had to look up to see the top of it. “Holy hell….”

There was a massive pile of cooked sharks, lobsters, and beef. The guys turned to look at what he was looking at. Kenny was mortally confused.

“Guys, seriously,” Zaphod began. “All that time you could’ve spent with community service, you spent on this. Now we have a bunch of useless cheating utensils, and we have community service to do.”

“Oh, we got that taken care of,” said Private.

“Really?” said Zaphod.

“Yeah,” said iFondle. “We even reinstated the Fire fighters!”

“You WHAT!?!” 

“Don’t worry,” said Mat4ney. “We made sure we’re still the police force. We didn’t just undermine our previous attempts.”

“Whatever, I’ll deal with the cheating issue later. Guys, meet our new recruit, Kenny.”

Everyone greeted him, shook his hand, all that happiness.

“Now, about training,” said Zaphod. “We’ll begin as soon as possible. You need to get affiliated with the rest of the group, so they’re coming along. Any questions? No? Good. Let’s move out!” He was very careful not to use any hand signals because of the last time he did that. But something dawned on him. “Wait, did you guys ever rebuild the Construction center?”