This is the first "book" I wrote way back when I was fourteen years old. I am thinking about rewriting it and could use some suggestions and overall feedback on the plot and story in general. Thank you for your help!
Shannon did not know how long she was lying on the floor. Warm, sticky blood flowed from a cut on her forehead onto the carpet. She wandered to herself if she was dead and had not realized it yet. The alarm was no longer blaring and she did no know for sure if it had been shut off or she had gone deaf.
She realized she was still able to hear though when she heard low voices. People were moving around her. Someone was crying from what seemed to be an echo from many miles away. Everything was blurry and in slow motion as if someone had fast forwarded the reason for all of this and played the rest.
She did not feel the hands that turned her onto her back. Nor did she feel them lift her onto the stretcher. Only when the ambulance doors slam did she realize what was happening. The bright light blinded her from seeing the faces that belonged to the shadows staring down at her. At that moment she felt the pain in her side and knew she had been shot.
Someone gently kissed her temple, “It is going to be alright Shannon.” They whispered to her softly, “Just hold on a bit longer.”
Mark was gripping her hand tightly. He would not let her give up. Staying by her side the whole way until the doctors rushed her into the operating room he told her he would not let her go. Now he stood in the hallway wondering if this time it would be too late. Was there something he was missing?
“Mark!” Came Starlynn’s voice from down the hall. Her face was flushed and she was running towards him, “How is she? Any news yet?”
“Not yet. They have been in there for at least an hour.”
“She is going to pull through. Shannon is a fighter. If I know anything about my sister it is that for sure.” She patted his arm to comfort him.
Mark nodded. There was something that just was not right. Why was someone trying to kill off the Selven family? Who could hate them all that much, and for what reason?
Starlynn interrupted his thoughts, “Hey. You alright there?”
“Starlynn. Tell me everything you know about your uncle’s personal life.”
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