This is the first "book" I wrote way back when I was fourteen years old. I am thinking about rewriting it and could use some suggestions and overall feedback on the plot and story in general. Thank you for your help!
Realization dawned upon Starlynn’s pale appearance, “It’s her isn’t it? That is why she is at the Selven manor.”
“Yeah it’s her, but I do not know why she is doing all of this.” Mark answered. A serious look came into his eyes. He reached over and pulled a gun out of the glove box. “Just in case.” He said to Starlynn’s frightened reaction.
She nodded, “Do you think you are going to have to shoot her?”
“That is for her to decide.” He glanced at her, “Stay here. If I am not back in thirty minutes or if she comes outside drive like hell. Go straight to the hospital and stay there.”
He got out of the car looking around carefully. The gun was positioned in front of him as he started across the lawn and towards the house. Starlynn watched him as he went around the side and out of sight. She wondered if she would be one of the last to see him alive.
As the minutes went by a chill ran up her spine. Something was not right. She had not heard a sound come from the house. It was too quiet. Carefully she started to climb into the driver seat and put the keys into the ignition.
Lights came on in the house drawing her attention back quickly. The sound of shattering glass was heard along with a loud clattering. Starlynn’s hand was on the keys. With a great hesitation she clambered out of the car and started to run towards the house. She reached the back and saw the door had been left open.
Opening the door as quietly as she could manage she held her breath. A dim light was coming from down the hall. Slowly she started towards it. The house now stood silent. She let her breath out slowly when she stepped out from the shadows. “Mark.” She breathed.
He was lying on the floor apparently unconscious. A nasty cut left the back of his head covered in blood. She leaned down and listened and made sure he was breathing. Thankfully he was still alive but for how long she was not sure. Carefully she tried to reach for his cell phone that was in his front pocket. She stiffened when she felt cold metal touch the back of her head.
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