“What doctor?”

“The one who was with Fritz.”

“He was a doctor?”

“Yes.”

“What did he do to your leg?”

“Actually I did it. He put needles with thin tubes and a syringe on the end in my leg then he had me push the plunger on the syringe. It injected something into my arteries. He told me that in minutes after it was done they would have had to do major surgery to save my legs and within an hour the arteries were clogged, there was no way to save them.”

“That was awful. To have you do it.”

“Actually I am glad they did. When I look at my stump, and look in the mirror, I know I did it to myself. I can’t lie and tell myself that someone else did it. Anything that helps me be honest to me makes it easier for me to stay off the booze.”

“I guess. But.”

“Let me ask this. Let’s suppose that you had been given my choice before you lost your leg and you knew it was likely that you would kill yourself and were in fact doing it with the booze, and you could cut your leg off and that would help you get off the booze, what would you do?”

Carol looked at her. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t then, but what about now, knowing what you know.”

“It would be hard, but I think I would.”

“I had the advantage, I saw what it did to others. What it was doing to me was just as bad but it didn’t look like it till I saw you and the other two.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I saw what the three of you gave up to drink, I suddenly saw what I gave up to drink. That’s what happened the night I looked at the bottle and didn’t pour one. I realized that I was doing what you did and it wasn’t smart for any of us.” She stopped. “I didn’t mean it that way. You three are all smarter than I am.”

“Actually we aren’t. We have just made more mistakes and learned that way.”

“And I wasn’t smart enough to learn when there were those who already knew. That is dumb.”

“We had examples too. We ignored them. Tell me, you really didn’t push the plungers.”

“Yes, I did. It took a couple minutes for me to be able to.”

“God. You are one tough little girl. I hope I never have to face you. You are awesome. I could never do that.”

“You gave me the strength to do it.”

Carol started to cry and hugged her. “Why didn’t someone help you sooner? Why?”

“Same as you. They tried, I didn’t listen.”

“Why were we both so dumb?”

“We can’t look at that. Let’s see if we can help others not make this mistake.”

“That is why I want my story told. I want people to see how big a mistake it is to abuse alcohol. I want my kids to see it. I want them to never get here. You know, they are likely to have the same problem if they drink?”

“Really?”

“Children of alcoholics are far more likely to be alcoholics. Even ones that are adopted and brought up by someone who doesn’t drink are more likely to abuse alcohol. It almost has to be genetic. I am doing this for my kids too.”

“I really pray it works.”

“Thanks. And I hope it does for your kids too.”

“Slim chance of that. Me with no boobs, no butt, and one short leg.”

“Check with me in three years if you are still single and sober. I promise to find a good guy for you.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I can sure try.”

“I would hate to have you make up your mind to do something and it was something I didn’t want. You are one very strong woman.”

Carol laughed. “That is what I just said about you a few minutes ago.”

Denise Chapter 01: Success in Hollywood

Denise Chapter 30: Living in a Modified Body

Denise Chapter 32 – Getting Denise More Mobile