Denise looks at her past and her future.
“I couldn’t find anywhere else. I debated which one. The roof was hard to get up to so I took the cable cabinet. You had me figured out.”
“No, we knew ourselves. We just looked at what we would do.”
“You mean others that drink like I did have the same feelings?”
“Probably not exactly but for the most part yes. We are generally very self conscious, generally afraid others will see us as not as good enough and down deep there really is something wrong in us. I am not sure if it is physical, psychological or mental, but once we take one drink we crave more. The craving is so strong that we can’t stop till the booze is all or we are stoned. And since medical science doesn’t know what that is and don’t know how to fix it, we have to live with it. It’s sort of like diabetes. They can’t fix it but they can help you live with it. With diabetes you take insulin. With alcoholism you don’t drink. You can’t even take cough medicine with alcohol. Now let’s head back.”
Denise was on crutches with her peg leg. As they walked Carol asked her how much pressure she was putting on her peg.
“Just enough to keep it from slipping.”
“Try increasing it a little and see if it hurts.”
After three steps Denise looked over. “It doesn’t hurt, in fact it is easier if I put some weight on it.”
“Then try a little more.”
Denise took a few more steps. “That is fine.”
“Then try increasing it till you feel discomfort.”
They continued down the hall talking. When they turned the corner to the room Denise stopped. “Is it OK if I put all my weight on my right… I mean.”
“Go ahead and say it, my right leg.”
“My right leg.”
“Sure it is if it doesn’t hurt.”
“I have been putting all of my weight on it for the last few steps. It feels fine.”
“Then finish getting to the bed with it that way and get in.”
“Sure.”
When Denise was back in bed Carol asked her to remove her prosthesis. Carol inspected her stump carefully and had her put it back on. “Looks good. I was looking for any sign of problems. Any time you do new things that put more stress on that stump you check it before you do more. That part of your body is now high maintenance. It is doing a job it was never intended to do so it will at times protest the treatment. If you take care of it you can probably live to a hundred and never have big problems with it. If you don’t take care of it you will have pain and at times will have to use crutches.”
“I don’t like pain.”
“Neither do I. So I check my stump every night and if something doesn’t feel right where I can’t see I check with a mirror. Don’t let anything go. If you don’t know what to do about it, call the doctor.”
“Is it that serious?”
“Well, in the first couple of months you will probably call the doctor maybe as much as ten times and only one of them will be important, if that. By then you will know what is normal and what is not for your stump. After that you will be able to look at something or feel something and know what to do. But don’t guess. If you don’t know, call the doctor.”
They continued the conversation for about another hour then broke for dinner.
Denise Chapter 01: Success in Hollywood
Denise Chapter 33 – Carol’s Confession
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