“On a lighter note have you ever been followed by another car? And you know you are being followed because the other car is obviously following you. You know what I mean? You make a left, he makes a left. You make a right, he makes a right. I used to do it for fun.”

The audience laughs.

“Yea you try and see how long you can follow someone before they try and get rid of you. I was so good that the people I was chasing literally stopped for a green light and took off when the light changed to red.”

“Yea, that good! The comedian laughs, “So anyway someone was following me the other day. And I don’t know where they come from. Did they see me shopping at ‘Victims’r’us’? How about Stick’m’ups? I don’t know. All I know is this car starts tailing me. Now I get angry enough at my stepdad for following me home when we both meet somewhere else and are obviously going to the same place. That’s right he doesn’t need to follow me! He knows where I live. We will meet there as soon as possible. It’s not like I am not going to show up.”

“So this guy is following me. I decide that I don’t want this shmuck to follow me to my home. There has been a wave of burglaries round my neighborhood and I don’t need my house to be the next one.”

“I decide I am going to lose him. So I turn left. The guy is right behind me. I turn right. The guy is still behind me. Finally, I just come to a complete stop figuring the guy would just pass me by without having any other possible thing to do. It is then that I notice the flashing lights from inside his car and the cop getting out. Police? Oh, boy.”

“Did I ever tell you about my laptop?”

The audience says, “No.”

“Well I had this laptop from my college days and the thing wasn’t working. I mean I would turn it on and it would basically start panting from all the work to start up. Did I mention it had a Pentium chip? Not Pentium 2,3,4 core. This was the original sucker. And as many of you know the computer programs that have come in the in between year have become so complex that you can’t run any programs on it or have to wait a half hour for them to load up.”