In many other books, chapter nine would almost be the end, almost.

Never mind how many more chapters we’ve got ahead of us; never mind that. Think about how far you’ve come in just a few short pages: you’re at chapter nine. And you’re about to be at

Chapter Ten

            Congratulations!

Chapter Eleven

            I like that, congratulating people for the little things in life.

People should do that more often. Congratulate people, I mean. For the little things in life. Like finishing a sentence.

            Or starting a new paragraph. Or finishing a new paragraph.

            And starting an even newer one.

            I like short paragraphs, don’t you? Just like short chapters, short paragraphs make one feel as if one has accomplished a lot in a very little amount of time.

And that makes one feel good inside.  

Like the previous paragraph. Didn’t that make you feel good inside? Didn’t that just give you the warm and fuzzy, well, fuzzies, I guess? It gave me the fuzzies, I can tell you that much.

Chapter Twelve

            I thought I ought to get down to business and in order to get down to business I thought I ought to start a new chapter. So I have. I also took a little break to eat a little afternoon snack because the fuzzies made me feel hungry and I always like to start a new chapter whenever I return to the computer after a break or other, no matter how small or insignificant. I am writing this on a computer; I hope you don’t mind. Typing, I should really say. I am typing this on a computer. Type, type, type, type, type. Sorry, sorry; now I’m just wasting your time. But no longer! I vowed to myself, a little after my little afternoon snack, that I would not waste time any longer. I would not procrastinate. I would share with you all my life lessons and that would be that. I will share with you all my life lessons. Right. Now.

            Excuse me, I have to pee.

Chapter Thirteen

            I’m sorry.

            Really, I am. Dreadfully, dreadfully sorry.