“Seriously this is not a good idea!”

“What’s the matter? Scared?” Ianto taunted Jack as they walked along the quay side to the restaurant.

“No, I just don’t want to make a fool out of you!”

Ianto laughed. “Since when did you care about that?”

“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer; you know I don’t want you to look stupid!”

“I know…” He smiled, giving Jack a peck on the cheek. “So where are you taking me?”

“That would be telling!” Jack smirked.

“If you’re taking me to McDonalds again…” Ianto threatened.

“That was April Fools Day! You know that was a joke.”

“Well now you tell me!” He replied sarcastically.

“In here…” Jack turned the corner into the restaurant.

“Pizza Hut!” Ianto laughed. “Real smooth, Jack… pizza is hardly the most romantic meal.”

“They sell pasta dishes too!” Jack retorted. “You know… pasta hut…”

“How may I help you sir?” The hostess interrupted.

“Table for two, it’ll be under Harkness… Jack Harkness.”

“Yes, here we are… if you’d like to come with me gentlemen.” She took them to a table outside, looking out over the quay.

“Well on the upside you chose a good table!”

“So I’m not a complete failure?”

“No.”

“Not yet anyway… trust me it’ll get worse.”

“What do you fancy then?” Ianto browsed through the menu as he spoke. “I was thinking… the cheese linguine.”

“Spaghetti Bolognaise!” He announced. “Love the English and their traditional foods!”

“Jack… Spaghetti Bolognaise is Italian… just like everything else here.”

“Oh yeah!”

The waitress came over, taking their orders and drink orders to the kitchen, before long she reappeared with their drinks, and a short while later brought their food over.

“Bon Appétit!” The waitress left, going to serve another customer.

“Isn’t that French?”

“Yes Jack…” Ianto answered patronisingly.

“But… this is an Italian restaurant…?”

“Yes Jack… have you taken something? Retcon maybe? Messed with your mind?”