Karen did some planning and then went out and bought some things during the next couple of days. By Friday she had meals she could make easily for the next few days and full prescriptions of all her meds. She left work Friday as soon as she could get free and went straight home. She had already prepared everything she needed. She looked at the items on the table and remembered the verse from the bible, “If your right arm offends thee.” The remainder of that verse was, “Cut it off.” She knew the message was concerning your right are causing you to sin but she remembered sin was missing the mark, being less than you could be. To Karen, her right arm was causing her to sin.

She picked up the stethoscope, put it in her ears and listened to the pulse in her lower arm and wrist. She had seem doctors and nurses do this while she was in the hospital and wanted to be sure she could do it. She wrapped a length of very heavy solid steel wire around her arm just above the elbow. She pinched the arm about a quarter of an inch above it, she could feel the pinch. Just below it there was no feeling. She moved it up till she could feel it, then took the vice grips, clamped the wire and started twisting. She could feel the wire getting tight, then uncomfortable. She turned till she couldn’t turn it any more then she listened to the stethoscope. There was no sound. She put the vice grips on for more leverage and turned it tighter till she could barely stand the pain. She released the pliers and checked the stethoscope again. The wire held, tight, it didn’t release. She had gone to a hardware store and asked for help. The man suggested solid wire. She told him she wanted to put a ring around a split wooden pole. She hated to lie to him but had she told him the truth she would have placed him at risk for helping her.

She took off the stethoscope, trimmed the wire, pulled the sleeve down over the wire, put her arm in the sling and went to the kitchen. She would now have to wait. She took her pills and got her dinner. It seemed funny with what she had done to sit down and eat. Although it was still there, in a sense she had just cut off her right arm. She spent the evening reading, watching TV, and listening to music. About ten she took more meds and went to bed. Taking the pills for pain didn’t matter, they were temporary.

She was awake at three thirty for medicine. She slept in till seven when the pain woke her again. She got up and made breakfast. She checked her arm with the stethoscope. There was no circulation. She noticed her hand had a slight bluish-grey color. She busied herself around the house and about ten she decided to go out. She put water, a snack, pills, her MP3 and a book in a backpack and went to a park, listened to music and read till about five.

Karen: Chapter One – The Attack

Karen Chapter 9: Her Life Deteriorates

Karen 11: She Reunites with Darin