“I never thought of it that way. “

“Can you talk about it?”

“Your arm. What happened?”

“It’s tough. I talked to the shrink in the hospital. She was a help but she really seemed to avoid the issues I really needed to address. Sometimes when I tried to bring up a subject she avoided it. And my doctors have done the same thing.”

“Like what? I mean that is part of their job, to help the patient through the time, particularly the shrink.”

“Actually the PT’s and OT’s were more help mentally and I pretty much ignored them. I was assuming they would do surgery on my arm a couple times and I would get back all or almost all use of it and put this behind me.”

“Where is that now?”

“The two surgeries to graft nerves failed. They got inflamed and they had to take them out. Without any new developments there is no reason to try again. There isn’t any new process, drugs or procedure on the horizon. That means more than five years if that. I got really sick when they did the grafts. Without that the arm is essentially dead. Worse, there seems to be recurring inflammation in the elbow. They are not sure what is causing it, they believe it may be the artificial veins because it is in the flesh, not the artificial elbow. I am on prednisone, a really nasty drug. If I don’t take the pills at the right time I get bitchy. My bones are loosing calcium, that means some day I will step wrong an break an ankle, leg or hip if I keep taking this for five years or so.”

“Isn’t there anything else they can give you?”

“I’m taking other meds to stop the calcium loss. They have side effects too.”

“Can’t they take the veins out?”

“That would end the circulation in my arm. They can take veins out of my leg to replace them but that is more surgery, it would scar my legs and put risks there. The doctor says that isn’t a good choice. With the inflammation there is pain.”

“So what are they doing?”

“Giving me the prednisone for inflammation, supplements for calcium loss and perkeset for the pain.”

He reached down and touched her right hand. She didn’t react. A few minutes later she noticed his hand and put her left on top of his.

“Your hand feels warm, the left one, a lot warmer than the right.”

She wanted to tell him but he would never understand. “The circulation in the right isn’t as good. I don’t feel anything so I don’t know it is cold. I could get frostbite in it and wouldn’t know till it turned color. I’ve actually bruised my hand and burned it without knowing. I could break a bone in my lower arm or hand and not know.”

“Really?”

“I have pain in the elbow area, and just below it, real nasty pain. Below that I don’t feel anything.”

“This has to be really rough for you. I mean, I know how much pain can really hit you.”

“I’ll make it. I just have to be strong and do what I have to do. It will work out.”

He dropped her at her home about one and went home.

Karen: Chapter One – The Attack

Karen Chapter 14: Karen Surprises Him with Song

Karen 16: Karen Faces Her Tomorrows