The pressure to beget a son was palpable in the Hastinapur palace.

After all, the success and the stability of a royal household depended on the number of sons it provided.

Bhishma was unaware of Pandu’s ill health. But then, hasn’t it been always customary to hold a woman responsible for not begetting a child? Just within years of our marriage, Bhishma approached the neighboring kingdom of Madra, asking King Shalya the hands of his sister Madri for Pandu. As per the custom prevailing in those Western regions, Bhishma gave immense wealth as the bride price and brought the girl home. Soon Pandu married Madri too.

Madri was very soft spoken and treated me like an elder sister. I too was equally affectionate to her, though I resented the fact that Pandu seemed to prefer her over me. She was a ravishing beauty, no doubt, but I was no less.

The same frustrations surfaced between the newly wed. I explained the situation Madri as gently as I could.

The piercing looks of Bhishma seemed to ask us one constant question: when are you going to give us a baby – the reason you have been brought in here.

Within a month of marriage, Pandu set out on an ambitious territorial expansion, fighting with the neighboring kingdoms. To show the world the prowess that he could not show on bed at home. As kingdoms after kingdoms cowered before him and acknowledged his sovereignty, Pandu’s joy, as well as avarice, peaked with every conquest.

Finally, his manliness established, Pandu returned to Hastinapur, laden with humongous loads of wealth. He distributed them generously to his elder brother Dhritarashtra, Bhishma, the three queen mothers, the ministers of the court and the citizens.

Pandu had won the hearts of all. But still, it did not bring him happiness or peace. The old wounds lurked underneath. He didn’t want the scabs peeled. His mind recoiled at the thought that Bhishma may once again start questioning. And he wouldn’t have the answers.

I wasn’t aware of Pandu standing close to me until he touched my shoulders. I told him he had now re-established Hastinapur’s sovereignty over the neighoring kingdoms; so he should now take it easy. The stress of managing the vast kingdom was affecting his performance on the bed, so maybe, I said, we could move outside the palace and live in the forests. We could even get rare herbs that could treat our infertility without attracting others’ attention.