Comments on: Letters From Tobias Zeling 1

By: Ambary

Ambary — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:59:56 +0000

I decided to give this a read, as you seemed excited about showing me it. Here are my thoughts.
-The approach to making it seem like journal or diary entries is a good idea.
-Where is Tobias Zeling? What country is he in, exactly? Just curious, that's all. It's not a bad thing to hide the location of your protagonist as it can create suspense and mystery, but it may limit Tobias' character in terms of depth.
-500 AD is pretty ancient. I think it's when the Byzantine (Eastern Roman) empire was still at large. For some reason I get the feeling that this is taking place in some European country in a far later time because of the public education. In 500 AD, apprenticeship was still the main method of education. Perhaps, say, the mid-1600's/1700's would be a more suitable age? Just my opinion, again.
-The flow of the story is rapidfire and it quickly developes. It's a great story at heart, but it feels compressed if you know what I mean.
-It kept me interested, as I went to page 2 without hesitation.
Good story, I think it's going somewhere, although maybe not in sync with your other vampire story.

By: Yovita

Yovita — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 05:49:26 +0000

I read part 2 before reading part 1 insteresting story!

By: Jasin

Jasin — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:49:43 +0000

Nice work, you are very creative.

By: Darla Smith

Darla Smith — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:14:23 +0000

This is a very interesting story. I’m looking forward to reading more of it.

By: myria

myria — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 15:09:33 +0000

A really good story, cant wait to hear more.

By: Morgana

Morgana — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:49:06 +0000

Very interesting. I like that this little vampire doesn’t seem to be bad at all. I enjoyed it very much.

By: Christine Ramsay

Christine Ramsay — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 11:02:10 +0000

A great story so far. I can’t wait to hear the next part.

Christine