Tobias and his mom head to the mountain country after school finishes.

If you haven’t Part 1 or Part 2, I would check those out 1st.  These are the diary entries from Tobias Zeling, the first vampire to ever live.

5/16/1667

So we headed out to the mountains this afternoon and by about four or so.  I like the family out here a lot, as they are all pretty cool people.  One person I don’t really get though would be Cousin Jesse.  He always seems on the weird side of things, and I don’t know what it is, but he appears to be a bit out of the loop on a few things.

As soon as we got here Jesse took us out to the barn.  Uncle George told him to head on top to get something, and after he did, he jump down 30 feet, landing gracefully without even bending his knees.  He laughed, dared me to do it, and after much arguing with mom, I finally managed to get up there and do a front flip onto the dirt path below; man did mom almost slap me.  I know that she worries about me, but with all these new powers I have, I haven’t found anything that permanently hurts me.

She keeps telling me “don’t get too cocky Tobias, that’s how your father got into trouble.”  I know she is right, but it’s hard not to want to use everything that I can.  It’s an even bigger problem when I’m with Victoria, she is so beautiful, and I find it really hard to not impress her.

I am starting to get the feeling that there is something that my family isn’t telling me.  Mom and Uncle Greg were talking about something important till I came over then they stopped.  On top of that, Jessie is the hairiest kid I’ve at 14 ever.  I doubt he is exactly like me, cause I haven’t seen any fangs, and he hasn’t been out hunting rats like I was, but there is something about this family that isn’t adding up correctly.

We are going hiking tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll have a chance to ask Jesse some questions.  I better snuff out the candle now, and get to bed.  Hopefully the mountains are as cool as the city, cause I’m dyeing to get more of this fresh mountain air, that Uncle Greg keeps boasting about.

Sorry it has taken so long to get another post up.  I’ve been really busy with school and such.  If you want to check out more on the idea of this story check out Three.  I’ve also added links to Parts One, and Two for those of you who are interested in checking out where this story is coming from.

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Comments (3)
  • Darla Smith on Jan 21, 2009

    Great story! I really like it a lot.

  • Ambary on Jan 22, 2009

    This is your best installment in the series yet.
    Most people reading this detect the whole classic Vampire vs. Werewolf deal starting up, and I like how it is introduced through the entire entry. I have two small criticisms for this entry (and past entries, too): First, the modern slang word “cool” doesn’t seem to fit chronologically in the story. Second, referring to Tobias’ inexplicable abilities as “powers” is a touch cliche, but moreover, it takes away from the mystery of his development, making him into some kind of run-of-the-mill superhero, despite your own efforts to make him a unique protagonist. Thirdly, who is Victoria?! She is a really obscure character in this story (in this entry, there is only one adjective of ambiguous description involved), I keep finding myself curious about her, and other members of the supporting cast as well.
    Now, on to my praise.
    This one, despite being short again, actually is really good this way. Just as long as the introductions are a little bit more detailed (Entry 2 was really skimpy). This one proved to show a new potential antagonism, and drives the reader to the end hanging on subtle suspense, wondering what will become of Tobias and his unusual Cousin. This way, you’ve given the readers a wonderfully tiny dose of a potentially legendary conflict brooding ominously behind your descriptions of Jesse in only a matter of a few paragraphs.
    Good work, best entry yet!

  • Morgana on Jan 22, 2009

    You feed me a little and I want more. Will be waiting for the next part.

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