Hello there

I don’t know you,yet i see you everyday,i wake up and walk to the mirror and there you are,staring back at me with eyes filled with hate and i just stare back with sadness and confusion,wondering “who are you”…? you reply “i am you” but this bothers me,because i see you with  dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep,and  bruised up from hands to fierce to care of the marks left and most of all i see  the very things i cant ignore because they bring my to tears,i see your once beautiful skin covered with scars,long white marks over your chest,which as i watch you trace your hand lightly on the cuts,the hate for them and their lack of femininity  is quite evident in your eyes,you look at me and your eyes tell me what your voice never makes clear,you are silent about your fears,that you are forever doomed to be small chested and there for ridiculed by men and woman alike,and now there are these scars that you made as you thought,”if they want something to see i will give them something to see,something to comment about…” is that the reason you took a blade to your legs,because they were the only thing that men noticed…?a long silence sinks in around us and this is when i see your ashamed,i see everything you hide inside now.the pain you try your hardest to ignore,i see how you cover it all up,with a smile…….i wonder,am i the only one who sees,that tho you may be smiling you are crying on the inside,you hate yourself i know,you blame yourself for what you cant control,and now you try to gain control with fear……you turn on others because they don’t see what you want them to see…..but i can tell your sick of lieing,sick of pretending your ok,your arent your trying to keep up and struggling…..your drowning in your pain,and now i look at you in fear,because i know your so very close to snapping,going back to who,to what…..you once were.as i look in this mirror i see you and you see me and i should be worried,for you are in my nightmares……and i know that what i see,is what will become of me ….i don’t want to be you…..
 There is hope i am sure,tho i haven’t found it,i have come to let you know,there are people here to help us now….you ask me if they are truly friends……tho i cant tell you if they are,i see your eyes go cold,i know your thinking there isn’t going to be help…….that you will not  recover you’ll just lie more and cover it all up and maybe even get worse ,you remember being screwed over on more then one account,and so you shut me out,but you cant keep living this way,you have to try,even if they hurt you more…..”i cant be hurt more because i wont let them in” i see…..you hide even from yourself.but I’m not the girl you want to be,you have hurt me and so when i look at you i don’t know who i am,who you are…….but we are one in the same…do you not see….? i am the girl in the mirror……….on the inside looking out at you,and i know i can be helped……and i will get help….and then you will be the one to see……..