Sabu Maso Pt.2

By:Richard Goodly, James Edward Calabro, and Nicklus Barnes

They continued to dominate Star Wars as usual but they eventually grew tired of dominating so much so they headed to Foster Park. After a few games of Richard dominating, they see a tank on the other side of the court. The tank door opens and Mike Titus gets out. Unfortunately, he did not die from the shot to the face.

“Hey guys. What’s up?” Mike says

“Uh, Mike Titus?” asks Nick

“Yep, that’s me!”

“I thought you were dead”

“You thought wrong”

“I thought wrong”

“Yeah, you did…”

“I was mistaken”

“Yes…”

Then suddenly it begins to pour down and in a blink of an eye Mike along with his tank disappear. Richard, Jimmy, and Nick run to safety at the Calabro residence and begin to play Star Wars as usual.

“Hey guys, come look at this!” Jimmy’s mother, Donna, says. “Look at this rainbow”

“Uh, thanks mom. It’s a rainbow” Jimmy says

“Hey guys I have an idea” Richard says. “Let’s go to the end of the rainbow…”

“Aiight, I’m down.” Nick says

When they arrive at the end of the rainbow there is Sean Sullivan standing next to a pot of gold. Since they didn’t really want to talk to him they went back to Jimmy’s house and played Star Wars.

“Ay duu, seems like every time we play this game something weird happens…”

“Yeah, I know, I’m gon turn the game off when we finish this level” Jimmy says

*BOOM!!!* Juggernaut knocks down a wall

“I’M THA JUGGERNAUT BITCH!!!!” The JUGGERNAUT yells

“OH SHIT!” Richard yells

“Ah man, I just sharted…” nick says

“Sharted?” Richard asks

“It’s when you fart and a little bit of shit comes out” nick answers

“eww” richard says….richard stares

“What tha fuck?!” the JUGGERNAUT yells

“Jugg, what are you doing here?” Jimmy asks

Juggernaut busts through another wall and leaves.

“Ay, what time is it?” Jimmy asks

“Tool Time!” nick yells

“No…its time for school” Richard says

They go up to the high school and on the way to class they see Alex Jewell.

“Hey, Nick! Hey Jimmy!” Alex says

“Uh, hey Alex” Richard says

“Oh…hey Richard. I read you guys’ story”

“Really, did u like it?”

“It was alright. I feel kinda left out cause you guys didn’t put me in there”

“There are millions of people who aren’t in the story”

“Yeah, whatever”

“We got you Alex, don’t worry. We’ll put you in there,” Nick says

On their way out to lunch, Mike Titus lands his big paper airplane in front of Richard, Jimmy, and Nick.

“Mike you coulda just drove to school” nick says

“Yeah, whatever”

Later they meet up with Matthew Wesche. He asks, “Hey guys where’s the library… I mean the bathroom?”

Nick replies, “Man, you’re really cute.”

“Thanks” replies Matt. “But seriously, I need to know where the bathroom is.”

Richard says, “Ohh yeaa…Matt, you’re really cute.”

“Thanks” replies Matt. “But seriously, I’m about to urinate in my pants if you don’t tell me where the bathroom is.” Jimmy licks his lips and leans over to Matt and says, “Man….you’re really….”

At that instant Matt punches Jimmy in the face and walks away. For no reason, Richard and Nick continue to punch him until Lee shows up.

“Hey Lee!” the guys all say simultaneously. Hailey Lewis turns around.

“Hey guys!” Lee Bacca says. Richard wonders off and tries to spit game to Hailey Lewis. After a few brief moments, Hailey slaps Richard in the face and kicks him in the nuts.

“How’d it go?” the guys ask.

“Yeah, she totally wants me bad”

“Yeah, I can tell by the way she struck your crotchal region” says nick

“Did you get her telephone digits?” asked Jimmy

“Yeah…uh…its 867-5309.”

“No, that’s not right,” says Nick.

“Oh, yeah, whatever.” shrugs Richard.

“You guys wanna go play Star Wars?” asks Lee.

“Sure.” and they all head off to the Calabro residence to play Star Wars.

Jimmy’s doorbell rings. “I wonder who it could be?”

“Answer the fuckin door Jimmy. Don’t ask stupid questions.” says Goodly

At the door, Oscar shows up.

“OSCAR!” the group yells.

“You guys wanna go play futbol?”

“Why you always playin soccer Oscar?” ask Lee.

“Yeah.” Richard says.

“Don’t you do anything else?” asks Jimmy.

“Yeah.” Richard says.

“I do HALO.” defends Oscar.

“Alright, lets play some HALO.”

“Did some body say HALO!?!” asks Billy Bersbach.

“Uh, how did you get in my house?” asks Jimmy.

“I dunno. Let’s play some HALO. I want to PWN SOME N00BS!”

So, Billy, Oscar, Nick, Richard, Lee and Jimmy play some HALO. Billy dominates everyone and Jimmy becomes angry.

“Man, fuck this game.”

He pisses on the X-box and leaves.

At that very moment, Santa Claus busts through Vince’s room window.

“Uh, you could’ve just used the door.” says Nick.

“Yea, whatever.” Santa replies. “I’m here to give you a new X-box.”

“Thanks!” says everyone.

They begin to play HALO again, but Santa doesn’t leave. “Uh, Santa, what are you still doing here?” asks Lee.

“STFU n00b.” says Santa.

Santa starts owning everyone at HALO, even William Bersbach.

“Ya know, Santa. Its not even Christmas yet.” says Nick.

“Yea, whatev….Oh, dang.” Santa takes the X-box and leaves.

So, Richard, Nick, Billy, Oscar and Lee are sitting there with nothing to do. Jimmy comes back so Billy and Oscar leave.

They decide to take a walk outside. Jimmy pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and begins to light up.

“Jimmy, when did you start sabu fuesing?” questions Nick.

“Yea, I know, I’m trying to start.”

Just then Mrs. Sandifur, a local teacher who appeared on several ‘white lie’ commercials, appears out of nowhere and takes the cigarette outta Jimmy’s hand and puts it out.

“Uh…”

“Thanks Mrs. Sandifur!” exclaims Richard.

“No problem boys. Just remember, cigarettes have over 43 cancer causing poisons…..” she fades into the sunset.

As everyone’s walking down Mulberry Street to get to Jaime’s Soda Fountain, Mike comes outta nowhere riding on Yoshi’s back.

“What are you doing on Yoshi’s back Mike?” asks Lee Bacca.

“I found him at Wal-Mart.”

“Oh, uh, alright. Wanna give us a lift to Jaime’s?”

“Sure, hop on.”

So, Nick, Richard, Lee, and Jimmy all ride with Mike on his Yoshi to Jaime’s Soda Fountain. Once every gets there Nick says, “You know Mike, despite all your inadequacies, you can be a really good friend sometimes.”

Mike chokes up. “You really mean that Nick?”

“Uh….NO!” everyone laughs and heads into Jaime’s. Just then, a huge UFO abducts Mike…

Richard’s cell phone rings….

“Your gonna die in seven days…”

“SWEET!!!” Richard yells

“No seriously, you’re gonna die in seven days if you don’t get a job…”

“Oh…hey mom”

Dial tone….

“Who was that?” asks nick

“My mom”

“Oh shit”

“yeah, she said that she was gonna kill me if I don’t get a job in seven days”

“I feel like hoopin yall” says Jimmy

“No thanks, I already dropped a load like 5 minutes ago,” says nick

“I said HOOP, not POOP”

“Oh alright, lets go”

When they arrive at Foster Park they see a girl playing soccer. Richard approaches the girl…

“Hey lil girl, what you doin?” Richard asks

“Playing kickball…”

“oh…alright”

“I don’t even know what we are doing here?” jimmy says

“I’m hungry, lets go to Taco Bell” says nick

On the way there in Jimmy’s jeep, they all sing….

‘I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the tru-’

Suddenly a Megazord appears in the middle of Sycamore and steps on the front of Jimmy’s jeep. Mike hops down from the megazord…

“What the fuck Mike! You ruined my Jeep!” yells jimmy

“Yeah, whatever” says mike

“I thought you got abducted” nick asks

“I did…I got anally probe”

“Ah shit!!!” Richard laughs hysterically

“Ah man, DOMINATED!” Nick says

“Guys c’mon you have no idea what that feels like, so quit laughing at him” says Lee Bacca

They all stare at Lee Bacca

At Taco Bell, they met up with Emily Grammer there and ate a taco.
They stayed in Taco Bell for 7 hours, talking and eating Tacos. Then Jimmy said,
“Uh, guys, why don’t we just go back to my house and rape…I mean, take Emily home?”

Richard stared at Emily and said “Emily, aren’t you a robot?”

“Self-Destruct Mechanism initiated”

“AHHHH” they all yell.

As they run out of Taco Bell Mike slips on a piece of ice and is left behind. Taco
Bell explodes with Mike in it.