My answer to The Triond Forum Writing Challenge – Round 12, where something is to be written using the words “Abnormal Apendages” and “Trousers”. This piece was actually inspired by Cass and Spiritwalker. Thanks dudes!

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“Holy mother of Buddha! What have you got there Scoof?”

“Aren’t they fantastic Duff? I’ve been playing with them all day. Do you want to play with them too?”

“Well…yeah I do…sort of – but where the freaking heck did you get them?”

“It’s a long story dude and you probably won’t believe me anyway.”

“Try me man – seeing those things I am pretty sure I will nearly believe anything. I mean they are the most perfect I have ever seen, but I don’t know how a scruffy rat-bag like you could end up with such beauties.”

“Well Duff, last night I had trouble sleeping so I got dressed and went for a walk in the woods. It was the full moon so I made sure to wear my talisman to protect me from the Darrk Faeries. I meandered amongst the trees and let the shadows cast by the moon dance and tell me stories of the various Deva that ruled that place. I began to feel at peace and sleep began to seek me so I began for home. As I turned to trace my steps back I saw a bright light above the forest canopy; I stared up at it, completely mesmerized. The first I knew something strange was going on was when the tops of the trees were brushing my face”

“What the hell!”

“Yeah man, I looked down and realized I was far off the forest floor and before I knew it I was completely above the forest. I was being pulled into the light.”

“Holy crap – were you scared?”

“Nah man – I felt totally at peace. Also I was still pretty sure it was just a hallucination from the mushrooms I had been chewing on half an hour before.”

“I’ve told you to keep off those friggen shrooms bloke – they’re going to give you brain damage.”

“Yeah yeah Duff – I know – you friggen old women. Anyway, I don’t care much as my brain ain’t much use for nothing anyway. So, as I said I thought I was dreaming but then before I knew it I was inside of this massive spaceship.”

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Comments (18)
  • Sophie Scripter on Oct 11, 2009

    How horribly disturbing! I love it.

  • cutedrishti8 on Oct 11, 2009

    Great piece of work

  • Darla Cooke on Oct 11, 2009

    What an amazing story. I love it!

  • lillyrose on Oct 11, 2009

    Oh how I laughed… you are one funny mother dude! great funny story… I want more, can you do the birth of the baby? that would be sooooo cool!

  • spiritwalker on Oct 11, 2009

    Oh my gosh…I remember that night. That was so fun. I am extremely interested in aliens. I often look at the you tube hoaxes and I think maybe some are real…who knows.

    Nice write Duff! and lmao as usual.

  • B.S. Kitty on Oct 11, 2009

    LMFAO, it’s a cross between Dr. Moreau’s Island and Hitchhiker’s guide. I love it, Duff. Gross, but I love it. haha

  • Ruby Hawk on Oct 11, 2009

    LOL, Duff, depend on you to entertain us. I love it as usual. You should publish a book of your short stories. You are never boring, that’s for sure.

  • N. Lloyd Andrews on Oct 11, 2009

    I’m with Lillyrose…you need to continue the story.

    You are one of my favorite Triond writers. To prove it, I will actually read a lot more of your work than I have already.

  • miraj on Oct 12, 2009

    OMG!!!!OMG!!! what a piece you have created,I’m sure the Area-51 people will be running after you if they find out about this.
    and yes you studied the Indian gods well,they added the extra charm.overall Brilliance all over Duff.Classic,simply classic.

  • TenderPoison on Oct 12, 2009

    lmao – very funny (not to mention twisted!)

  • STEVE666 on Oct 12, 2009

    Very funny, Duff.

  • Jo Oliver on Oct 12, 2009

    well done.

  • Brenda Nelson on Oct 12, 2009

    what are friends for?

  • David Crerand on Oct 12, 2009

    who could have imagined that the key to world peace would be Duff’s turd?

  • Greg Wolford on Oct 13, 2009

    “They all went insane and ended up as politicians and trolls on Internet forums instead.”….that explains a lot!! LOL

  • hfj on Oct 15, 2009

    Duff, this was very entertaining stuff. In my own opinion, which wouldn’t buy you a good cup of coffee, i think you have spent way too much time in the “hot” Australian Sun. You’re imagination and gift of gab is second to none. Purple alien people cross breeding us human’s with two species of animals is disgusting. Now one isn’t too bad dude. Good stuff Duff.

  • kate smedley on Oct 17, 2009

    Sorry I took so long to get to read this dude, it’s inspired and just genius as always. Ruby’s right, you should publish a book of short stories!!

  • XXElleXX on Oct 31, 2009

    Hehehehahahaha..holy freaking wow’s right! Praise to Cass and Spiritwalker for comin’ up with some ideas for your story..another weird and wacky yarn..but very funny and engaging bud :-)

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