My answer to The Triond Forum Writing Challenge – Round 12, where something is to be written using the words “Abnormal Apendages” and “Trousers”. This piece was actually inspired by Cass and Spiritwalker. Thanks dudes!
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“Holy mother of Buddha! What have you got there Scoof?”
“Aren’t they fantastic Duff? I’ve been playing with them all day. Do you want to play with them too?”
“Well…yeah I do…sort of – but where the freaking heck did you get them?”
“It’s a long story dude and you probably won’t believe me anyway.”
“Try me man – seeing those things I am pretty sure I will nearly believe anything. I mean they are the most perfect I have ever seen, but I don’t know how a scruffy rat-bag like you could end up with such beauties.”
“Well Duff, last night I had trouble sleeping so I got dressed and went for a walk in the woods. It was the full moon so I made sure to wear my talisman to protect me from the Darrk Faeries. I meandered amongst the trees and let the shadows cast by the moon dance and tell me stories of the various Deva that ruled that place. I began to feel at peace and sleep began to seek me so I began for home. As I turned to trace my steps back I saw a bright light above the forest canopy; I stared up at it, completely mesmerized. The first I knew something strange was going on was when the tops of the trees were brushing my face”
“What the hell!”
“Yeah man, I looked down and realized I was far off the forest floor and before I knew it I was completely above the forest. I was being pulled into the light.”
“Holy crap – were you scared?”
“Nah man – I felt totally at peace. Also I was still pretty sure it was just a hallucination from the mushrooms I had been chewing on half an hour before.”
“I’ve told you to keep off those friggen shrooms bloke – they’re going to give you brain damage.”
“Yeah yeah Duff – I know – you friggen old women. Anyway, I don’t care much as my brain ain’t much use for nothing anyway. So, as I said I thought I was dreaming but then before I knew it I was inside of this massive spaceship.”
Hehehehahahaha..holy freaking wow’s right! Praise to Cass and Spiritwalker for comin’ up with some ideas for your story..another weird and wacky yarn..but very funny and engaging bud 
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