CRACK!

That was all I heard as a giant club came into contact with my face. Shaking the stars from my vision, I streaked towards the orc as it stared, with noted interest, at its club, which had cracked after his attempted crushing of my skull.

Running a short distance, I fell into a slide, stopping directly between Glump’s legs, and proceeded to issue a massive double kick to his groin, running away quickly afterwards.

Taking the dropped stub of a club, I quickly started bludgeoning the orc with it. I quickly realized that I was doing nothing more than irritating an already irate 8-foot-tall, 300 pound orc.

“Dammit,” was all I could say as the blow to the head started getting to me.

“C’mon, healing factor, right now would be a great ti-“.

WHAP!

And there’s orc number two, I thought as I struggled to escape being pinned to the ground.

I finally got free, but then ugly number 2 wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

Squirming out of the bear hug Glump’s friend had me in, I hit the ground, got up, and called on my father’s ring.

Gaining a massive surge of energy, I drew my daggers, grinned, and went to work.

Taking a massive leap, I drove them into the eye sockets or the latter orc, ending his day. Yanking them out, I half turned and threw both of them at Glump, embedding them both in his chest where his heart was (Given that orc anatomy is the same as a human’s).

Sighing, I looked over at my companion Marc and said, “What in the HELL was that all about?!”

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you, orcs don’t like it when you call them fat. Very sensitive about their weight, they are,” he replied.

Yelling, I replied, “But I didn’t say anything to him! He just came at me with a big ruddy stick!”

“Yes, but he thought you did, making what he did completely rational… by an Orcish standpoint, at least,” replied Iason, Marc’s younger brother, with a chuckle.

Sputtering, I thought, Would it be in bad taste to kill my companions?

“C’mon, Goddy…”

“Don’t call me that, Marc…”

“Fine, Godric; let’s get you some food; you’ve had a long day.”

With a sigh, I followed the Kianuus brothers to their home on the outskirts of Djondrick village, wondering the whole walk whether or not I should have just stayed in California; thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have wondered too hard whether or not I really did hear a scream on such a faithful stormy night.

My God, I thought, My head is killing me.

Then, as an afterthought…

Dragons get headaches?