The audience cracks up.

“I was sitting at the college library the other day trying to come up with some tasteful jokes when I looked at the table I was sitting at and noticed the graffiti.”

“Yea the whole table was full of it. There was Vova loves Dillan graffiti, there were drawings of a stick figure going up a long hill, there was graffiti that said, read this, there were a few pictures of a man and woman’s members, there was a few dates, 1987 AD and what looked like a person chasing an elephant.”

“I mean you can’t make this stuff up. But I have to tell you this graffiti did not bother me. I mean it made me feel more connected to the library because it made it more human. It was not sterile like the ghetto libraries that try and make everything look as clean as possible.”

“Instead you have many people who have worked at this table before dueling on a desk and it makes you feel like a shared culture has been at this table. Like you are not alone in your endeavor to graduate or do meaningful research. “

“But the reason I bring this up is that I loved going to college. There is something humbling about being one of a few thousand students who got admit and are working to get a degree and hence a job in their field.”

“I originally was not going to be a comedian; I was going to be a dairy farmer. I would go into the supermarket and literally eye all the dairy products and wish I could learn how to make them.”

The audience is silent.

“Okay, okay, I was not going to be a dairy farmer. I was going to be a writer. I had big plans. My plans were to become the most famous columnist in a local paper. But things did not go my way. First I graduated and could not find work. I was taking any work I could find so I was a cashier for Waldenbooks for a year then a cashier/head cashier at Home Depot for two years worked at a copy center for two years and a cashier at Staples for one year. Now I am not sure if I am repeating myself but I want to make clear to you that no way does a college degree mean you will automatically get a job. It means you may have wasted good money getting a degree that you can then use to wipe your butt with.”