I am now a transient worker-a hustler-an opportunist. Like a rat I scurry around looking for my crumbs-my livlihood-my existence. By day I try to piece together substitute teaching jobs-in the darkest regions of this city–the South Bronx-East Harlem-and areas of the city so imbued with neglect-disiese and despair-to mention them by name would only bring grown men to their knees-and cause their wives and pets to shriek in horror. This is my duty-my pledge-my honor—but where is the return? I must pay bills–I have a house-a car-a dog- and two parrots–not to mention a yelling wife. I had lost my sales job-returned to school-lost my savings-and am now scrambling to make it-to survive-….and days and nights I lament my deeds-how could this have happened? To me–of all people? I tried to be a good person-paid my bills-my taxes- paid for our house-our dog-and our two parrots…is this fair?

By night I cruise the blackened streets-of the Bronx-of Harlem-and of those unnameable regions—as a driver-a servant-a hack—

paying out the nose for gasoline-for tires-for maintainence–for my dignity—a man with three masters degrees–reduced to groveling-to begging-to borrowing–to gliding endlessly across thousand year old bridges–through million year old tunnels–and amongst the city’s denizons–the rich-the powerful-thehomeless, destitute and despairing—I see it all–feel it all–smell it all–hear it all–but–like Tommy in the Who’s great opera–I am deaf, dumb and blind—I am numb to it all–living in petrified fear–for I can’t allow myself to feel the shame, the humiliation, the horror that I should rightly feel—for I must trudge on–as if caught in a surreal nightmare of my own making–a soldier of lesser fortune–a captain of failure—a screaming soul caught in the middle of a national and global meltdown. What does it all mean? Where can I go from here? What will become of me, my wife, my house, my car, my dog, and my two parrtots Georgi and Georgina?

And so I march on–to the tune of a thousand-or a billion wounded warriors–into this rain drenched night.

(follow this continuing saga of an average american’s plight within a fiscally ruined nation)