Characters

Jock- a young Bajan boy who has joined up into the military of Baja, has a cat called Tazz and is not yet sure what a girl is.

Socu- High Boss of Krua, general nasty piece of work. Starts the civil war of Poig.

Mulr- Leader of Deet, has been hoodwinked into joining Socu, supplies the Kruan Army with weapons and helps Socu with tactics.

Yiio- Unwilling Master of the Hhhu isn’t too bothered about anything apart from a steaming bowl of tomato soup and a crusty roll. Surprisingly commands the greatest not really fussed force in Poig.

Areo- FUCKing stupid name but one of the greatest blade- wielders on Poig. He commands the small Bajan army and formed the “Baja Arrows” once an elite section of the army but knower days consists of Tedd the butcher( “no-one purloins my sirloins, finest steak but we don”t do cake’) and a man who most people presume is dead who smells of gone-off melon and has a head shaped like a squashed pomegranate.

Eila- Jock’s embarrassing mum. A small generous woman who has a fondness for hot beverages(she would walk 500 miles, and she would walk 500 hundred more just to be the mum who walked 1000 miles to pop the kettle on [make us a brew]).

Setting

The story is set in the city of Forgandillon in Baja.

The high council of Poig meets in the volcano city of Suvcaldrios in Deet.

The sub-story of Hugh of Hhhu starts in Depends Town in Hhhu.

The plotting tacticians of the Kruan Army meet in the mountain stronghold of Traajmeldon in Krua.

Notable Points in History

1500 BRC (before rhubarb crumble) Poig is made.

200 BRC People and animals evolve from mushrooms.

10 BRC The first bridge is made in Baja (three cheers for Hoca)

67 AA( after ale) The four territories are made

68 AA the four territories are given names(yes it took them a year but cut them some slack they are only 268 years old)

1991 AA Jock is born

1992 AA Jock gets clouted round the ear for badmouthing the Kruan dictatorship (it could have been a dictator-boat, but if you want to get picky you can piss off)

2000 AA In Hhhu the best pub in the land is demolished to make way for a Kruan garrison, the people off Hhhu are a little bit annoyed but would rather not make a fuss.