For first time readers,

Part 1

Part 2

I have placed short separation marks between italicized and non-italicized sections.

* * * * *

Three fifty, I wiped the slowly pooling sweat from my sternal notch and twisted onto my side, only three hours left to go. Three hours until I could escape my coffin and on with living. I hated this part of the day, the never ending attempts to escape reality, to sooth my burning eyes and quite my mind. But each time I go back into that world of supposed bliss and harmony I get caught in almost the same swirling nightmare, but each time it’s different, each time I discover something new.

*

He opened his mouth, to release a piercing guttural river of damnation upon all of us in the room as the judge handed out the sentence of seven years. He turned and stared at me, our eyes locked. He was full of rage, yet the deep black pupils of his eyes were strangely calm and serene as they penetrated deep into my soul. I continued to watch him as I read from his lips “see you in Hell” as soon he finished the phrase his eyes were taken by a furious rage as he proceeded to hurl insults and spit at the spectators in the court house.

*

In that one instant Jason was both out of my life for the next seven years and locked within my dreams, completely inescapable. I never thought much of what he said, until he took himself. He did it with a plastic fork, he sharpened the edges to a collection of razor sharp points. The news said that he forced it in behind his collar bone and into the Subclavian artery. He then pulled it out, and with the warm blood, tainted slightly by the depressants he was on, streaming out of him he forced the handle through his sternal notch into his trachea. The doctor who preformed the post-mortem said he’d never seen such determination to die in all his years of work as he did in that one examination. When I saw the pictures the brutality of his attempt hit home. The hole in his throat was about an inch in diameter and the tunnel which had been dug into his torso was made in no less that ten strikes.