Riding on the bus to Chicago many things came into my mind. It disturbed me that I felt no guilt over killing Kristin. It still didn’t make sense that she would turn on me like that. She called me one of them. Who was this mysterious ‘Them’? Perhaps there were others like me. I was determined to find the answers about what was happening to me. The only persons I knew of who would know were Father and Uncle Martin, but both had abandoned me.

Perhaps, I was being punished for some great wrong or was I being conditioned for some greater purpose. I was not yet thirteen and had already lost everything twice over. The only thing that I could concentrate on now was survival.

I took in the sights from the back seat window when Pete slithered next to me.

“Hey, M, it’s a little lonely back here.”

“Then move to another seat.”

Pete laughed. “You’re funny, little girl, so tell me. Why are you headin’ to Chicago?”

“To look for my father.”

“Why? What he do, ditch ya.”

“No,” I shot back at him. “Father would never do that. He loves me.”

“Oh, it’s like that, aye. Look, little girl, that ain’t love. Fathers don’t fuck their daughters.”

“Clean up your mouth. My father never did that.”

“Then why did he disappear?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know how I survived. All I want is to go home, but I can’t. My mother’s dead, and my father might be somewhere hurt like I was.”

“Then tell me. What you runnin’ away from? Chicago be a bloody rough town. Ya sure ya up for it?”

“I have to be. I promised my mother I would take care of my father which means I have to find him first, before…”

“Before what?”

“Forget it. Please, just stay away from me.”

“Why?” I stayed silent to his plea. “M, what are you afraid of?”

“You wouldn’t understand?”

“Try me,” he pleaded.

“No,” I said.

I felt as if I was protecting Pete. Danger tainted my future, and I didn’t want Pete hurt by the things I might do. I longed for a friend in my selfishness, but I had to put my own needs aside to keep others safe. I had the feeling that my rages would only worsen with time.