I woke to find myself in a regular dorm room. The bed was small twin design, but big enough for my small body. There was a huge full-length mirror atop a dresser. I tested its surface and realized that it was a two-way. He was watching me. I didn’t know why.

“I know you’re watching me,” I said.

I felt helpless in my prison. The doors were impossible to open, thanks to my lack of concentration. The drugs I had been fed I felt might have had something to do with it. My attention span kept drifting. I couldn’t concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds. I was starting to forget who I was. I was drifting into a form of amnesia where nothing made sense to me.

“Someone help me, please,” I shouted.

No one came, but I felt as if they were watching. My claustrophobia overwhelmed me… again. I huddled in the corner shaking.

After a time a man walked in. I feared what he might do and cried out at his presence. “Stay away from me!” I shouted.

“Mary, calm down, and I just want to help you.”

“No, you’re laying,” I cried. “You’re trying to trick me like Doctor Brown did. So, stay away,” I said and slowly rose to my feet. I leaned up against the wall and tried desperately to steady myself. “I’m getting out of here.”

“I can’t let you do that. You’re not strong enough.”

“Why do you care? You want me to stay locked up in here. I-I…”

My concentration failed again. I fell to the floor. I felt anger towards myself for being manipulated by this man.

“Let me help you,” the man said kneeling down.

“If you want to help me get me out of here,” I said, looking into his eyes.

“Only if you can walk,” he said, helping get to my feet.

“I can walk fine,” I said and pushed him away from me.

I rose to my feet and found some newfound strength. I walked to the mental door, placing my hands on its surface. The black glow of my destructive power filled my body. The door melted away into nothing and left me to witness the open portal.

“Which way is out?” I asked and stepped out of the door.

“This way,” he said.

I never asked him his name, and I didn’t care. The only thing I was concentrating on was getting out of here. I wasn’t for sure where I was, or how I would escape, but the only things that mattered was that I was in control. Destiny was at my command, and I refused to relinquish control.

My male companion led the way even through I didn’t fully trust him. In fact I hadn’t trusted anyone since the night I fled the Steven’s home.

We walked down several corridors until he abruptly stopped. “Right through here. Hurry before someone sees you.”

“Wait!” I said. “Why should I believe you?”

“Go through the door, Mary!” he commanded.

“No,” I shouted. “You’re lying to me.”

“Go through the door,” he said. His eyes changed to a wild yellow. At that moment I knew that I was in trouble. Although my mind wished to deny him, my body did not. I couldn’t resist his command.

I entered the room to witness a large arena where brawls of dismemberment were taking place. The two girls I had met earlier stood in the arena. Their eyes were vacant. I wondered if mine were too. I wanted to scream out at them to stop, but my tongue lay prisoner to some black cloud created by some alternate force.

A small crowd surrounded the arena and looked as unemotional as Sheila and Suzie. Perhaps these children were like me. They must have been just as confused about who they were and manipulated by a man who was feeding off their frightened state.

I was drifting again and lost my concentration. My mind went blank. I was fighting to stay alert. I didn’t want to join the zombie troop in this twisted game. I tried to find my voice again, but it was still lost as my mind fled even more.

Suddenly I saw Suzie crawl out from the arena. She had the frightened look of a trapped animal. I had spotted the man who had led me in here giving her a shot of something. She then fell unconscious as another carried her away. Oddly I felt no sympathy. I was slowly becoming one of them.

Sheila stood up as the victor and challenged anyone who might contradict her claim. Suddenly, a voice inside my head urged me into the arena.

“So,” she said, “if any one of you has the guts to fight me you dig your own grave.”

“We’ll see,” I said.

I still maintained my human form. I didn’t like others seeing me in my state of rage. I tried grabbing hold of her, but she kicked me in the face and knocked me headlong into a steel post.

I noticed the blue glow coming back to my skin and healed my bruises almost instantaneously. I staggered to my feet and looked in eyesight of my opponent. She blinded me with another kick and then another.

I felt myself losing control, until my body began to change once again. The demon I had locked inside was suddenly released. I had lost control. It took over my body scratching and clawing.

I could hear Sheila scream out while the crowd cheered. I wanted to stop but couldn’t. Something edged me on.

Finally the ranting of the crowd stopped as Sheila’s cries stopped. I looked down to see what I had done. I had killed. In cold blood I had killed. This was not self-defense or to keep from being killed. I wanted her dead, and so she was.

The next thing I remember was being back in my prison room. I wondered if the arena experience were all but a horrible nightmare, but with feelings this strong there had to be some truth. I was alone, although in my paranoia I felt as if someone was always watching. My mind would drift off and lead me to wonder how I ever managed to get to this place. I didn’t know the day, the year or even how old I was. Last I remember I was fourteen, but I’m not sure how many birthdays could have passed.

The only human contact I had were doctors coming to give me injections, and nurses bringing me trays of food. None of them ever addressed me by name, and after a time I must have forgotten that bit of information as well.

Only one nurse ever told me her name, and that was a woman by the name of Carla Benson. After learning her name I began to write things down.

“Who am I?” I asked her one day.

She looked at me strangely as my body shook. “Don’t move,” she said. “I’ll get the doctor.”

“No, not until you tell me.”

“I can’t tell you, because I don’t know.”

My heart sank. I had lost the only hope I had of finding my true identity. “How did I get here?”

“The doctor found you wandering the streets, cold and alone. He wants to help you.”

“Then why does be lock me up?” By then the shaking had stopped. I rose from my bed and walked to the mirror. I stared at it and wished it to shatter. “I know you’re watching,” I said. “What do you want from me?”

I broke down and lost control again. My knees buckled and I sank to the floor as I clutched the razor I had carefully hidden in my hand. I squeezed my hand into a fist, until the blood dripped from it.

“What are you doing?” Carla asked, horrified by what I had done.

“Stay away,” I shouted. “I want to die.”

“No. I won’t allow it,” she said with urgency in her voice. “I’ll find out who you are, but you can’t die.”

Suddenly, the strange blue glow came to me, and I had realized what I had forgotten. I was Marianna Faigon. I underwent my transmutation, but this time it was by choice. I was going to get out of here or die trying.

Carla Benson screamed in terror as I pushed her aside. Deductive reasoning still held in my brain. I had no desire to kill her. Strangely she didn’t try to stop me.

I ran down the corridors and scanned the area desperately trying to find a way out. Suddenly a man came out of an unmarked door. He was someone I recognized fairly well.

“Jimmy Forest,” I shouted. “It was you.”

“Stay away, freak!” He shouted. I could see the frightened look in his eyes, and I liked it.

“Sorry, Jimmy,” I said, “but you shouldn’t have betrayed me.”

“I don’t know who you are,” he said, staggering backwards, “but stay away.”

“You know me,” I said and put my shadowy clawed hands around his neck. “Look into my eyes, and you will see.”

I could see the redness reflected back from his eyes as he screamed, “Don’t kill me, please.”

“Then get out of here, then perhaps I will be merciful.”

Jimmy agreed, although it was more of the fact that I frightened him. Fear made him powerless to deny me, but I would not let my guard down. If the slightest chance came for his escape he wouldn’t hesitate to destroy me.

We moved faster although more quietly as I began to hear voices. Children’s screams echoing from inside the closed doors.

Jimmy made no comment on the deafening sounds. His emotions seemed non-existent. “Here,” he finally said. I looked at him strangely. “Well, go on,” he added. “Leave, if that’s what you want. I won’t stop you.”

“You’re coming with me, Jimmy,” I said and grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out the door. I threw him to the ground as I basked in the sun.

Pain came to my eyes as I screamed. I tried to shield myself but the light was too bright. Not only could I not see, but also some strange saliva flowed from my eye sockets. I felt myself fleeing into my subconscious. It was a place that was safe and warm.

“Marianna,” I heard a man chant. “Wake up, Marianna. It’s time for your medication.”

“No,” I cried and tried to escape from this new prison I found myself in. Strapped to a table and unable to move I screamed, “Let me up.”

“We can’t let you do that. After what you did to Carla and James we can no longer trust you.”

Through glassy eyes I saw the glare of the doctor’s needle. A flash of memory came to me, Mother’s death. I screamed in terror as the needle punctured my arm.

This time instead of knocking me unconscious I felt a surge of strength. I broke the restraints that held me in place. My mind stayed fixated on the doctor who taunted me.

“Yes,” he said. “You are powerful. You are the prize I’ve been searching for.”

As I changed from my human form to the creature within. My mind shifted again.

“James,” the doctor said and tapped the intercom. “Get in here. There’s been a breakthrough.”

In a matter of minutes I came face to face with my betrayer. He stayed frozen in the doorway, but I had no desire to kill him.

“Now, Marianna,” the doctor said.

I looked towards him and felt the surge of blood flowing through his body. I grabbed him by the throat.