A day at the circus. First meeting with a mysterious stranger.

                   

The circus is supposed to be a grand event. That is what Carla keeps raving, but to me it seems like a whole lot of noise for no particular cause. I approached a man wearing a bright neon suit. I stopped, intrigued by his bravado.

“One dollar to guess your weight,” he said, waving his hand in the air.

“No thanks,” I said and moved along.

There was another tent with a sign saying, ‘Madam Olga Sees All.’

“Humm,” I said. “That’s not even possible.”

“Of course it is,” a woman coming up behind me said. “Don’t you want to know your future?” She pushed passed me nearly knocking me down.

“Some people are so rude,” a short husky man said. He reached out his hand to help me up. “You alright, Miss?”

“Yes,” I said. “Thanks.”

Madam Olga, I was intrigued but still skeptical. Besides, the future is not written. Why would anyone want to know their future anyway? Still, I entered the tent.

It was a bit dark in the tent, but then I liked it that way. There were colorful draperies lining the walls of the tent and a rich red carpet on the floor. In the middle of the tent was a round table with a stack of tarot cards lying there in plain sight. Seated at the table was a strange woman. She looked ancient to my sixteen-year-old eyes. Her hair was mostly gray with just a hint of silver towards the front. It looked as if she hadn’t combed it in days. There was an obvious crease in her lip that seemed to quiver. Her eyes where dark like mine, almost black. That alone made me feel uneasy. I wanted to run out of the tent, but something, some force kept me planted in the place I stood.

“Come this way, child,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. I was apprehensive about approaching but slowly stepped towards her. For some reason I couldn’t stop myself.

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Comments (49)
  • Kiki Stamatiou on Sep 3, 2008

    I like this. The story really drew me in. So far it is magical.

    Take Care,

    Kiki Stamatiou (Joanna Maharis)

  • ptoolen on Sep 3, 2008

    I like this story. It’s very intriguing. There’s a couple of typos but it sounds great so far. I’m looking forward to reading some more.

  • Melody Arcamo Lagrimas on Oct 19, 2008

    I finally found the time to start this novel of yours. It is a very promising novel. The suspense is there…and your prologue surely stimulates the minds of your readers.

  • Juancav on Oct 22, 2008

    The begining of a novel,that carry you,and you are involved in it.
    Your tags: literature

  • Hein Marais on Oct 23, 2008

    Very well written

  • moonlight on Oct 29, 2008

    I liked it! i wanted to turn to another page but there were none. Keep up the great work. You have a gifted talent the world needs.

  • jemanigh40 on Nov 3, 2008

    More more more … it’s just a tease into a world of well written words … let me know when this novel is out I want to read it all!!!

  • fairygirl on Nov 4, 2008

    I have to agree with moonight, I went to turn the next page and…ya, looking forward to reading more!

  • fairygirl on Nov 4, 2008

    oops I made a typo and spelt moonlight wrong, sorry, please forgive me it is late! More story please!

  • Christy Tuller on Nov 10, 2008

    Amazing story so far! I am hooked and looking for more now. You have a wonderful talent and I look forward to reading more from you.

  • joystick7 on Nov 13, 2008

    Fantastic Story!!

  • Love or hate on Nov 17, 2008

    I really enjoyed that story. It was very interesting.

  • salsysworld on Nov 25, 2008

    The story line is intriguing and dark is popular these days. There are misspellings that you might like to edit out and a couple of sentences that need a fix. I look forward to reading more as I get the chance. So far it looks like one I’d buy.

  • shaun simpson on Dec 13, 2008

    Wow! this is a great intro. I like the way you introduce Marianna its very easy to empathise with her and you lay enough to both tease the reader as well as promise much more. I’m definately going to read all of this.

  • Lara on Dec 22, 2008

    Well, it looks like Twilight fever got ahold of you!

  • F W Brown on Dec 22, 2008

    Your detailed description of the old woman was fascinating.

  • denguitar22 on Dec 24, 2008

    like the story keep up the good work :)

  • Poetic Angel on Dec 30, 2008

    You’re a great writer

  • saltamos_juntos on Dec 31, 2008

    this has the potential for an interesting plot, but you need to flow it more. also, as some other comments stated, there are quite a few spelling and grammatical mistake that need fixing. i also noticed that most of your descriptions, both of people and places, were very cliched. in order for your story to stand out, for your characters to be memorable you need to avoid cliches. its hard to take a chance on a metaphor, i agree, but sometimes you stumble across the perfect comparison and the beauty of it is definitely worth it. keep writing! you have potential. but get an editor.

  • Lee Altman on Jan 15, 2009

    I like it, great start

  • Creative Soul on Jan 21, 2009

    This story was pretty good. I like the descriptivness in it but feel as though in parts it was a bit too discriptive. Just an opinion. I did like it though, and cant wait to read more. Nice Job, keep it up.

  • Bjoern on Jan 28, 2009

    Great story. Then plot development is flawless. The description is tricky, but i think you did a good job. A good way to avoid a choppy description is to use some sort of order and variety in your words. You may begin with general details, then become more specific; you may begin with abstract details then concrete. If creates a denser writing and appeals to the readers sense of logical progression.

  • Kate Cobb on Feb 7, 2009

    Great Intro. Reminds me of my family – only because of the circus. (See my articles, The Man and His Shadow and What I learned from My Mother.)

  • Damon Reichardt on Mar 20, 2009

    I am intrigued! You have a flair for the mysterious, very nice descriptions as well. I am going to read the next installments ASAP!

  • michaelhasstories123 on Mar 28, 2009

    amazing story with vivid descriptions. I’m intrigued and interested.

  • babygirl3605 on May 25, 2010

    Very good

  • RS Wing on Jul 11, 2010

    Great intro with really good dialogue. Marianne made a connection to a soul so similar to her own. Perfect start as you leave the reader wanting more into this dark tale of mystery. Great work!

  • Vaannoo1 on Sep 26, 2010

    Its good writing I like it, but i must say its not really on my favourite topics :)

  • vasanthaa on Sep 26, 2010

    Nice plot. You are on the right track, but take care to get it proof read. Good luck!

  • SuperMember on Sep 28, 2010

    wow that was anazing story, thank you!

  • SUPERARTIST on Sep 29, 2010

    wow your a good writer to bad my agents storys wont ever be that good and the likes on yours are incredible i sometimes like my own story lol.

  • vatsh on Oct 1, 2010

    hi
    You have great skills on writing. The novel directly drew all my attentions.Very nicely written. keep it up.

  • jerry bradford on Oct 20, 2010

    Well done. The ending ties the story together very well.

  • jioges on Oct 21, 2010

    Nice one!!!

  • gaby7 on Nov 21, 2010

    Great!

  • Lady Bumblebee on Dec 11, 2010

    great beginning I’m curious to know what Marianna’s “gift” is.

  • mostpopulararticle on Dec 19, 2010

    This article is indexed in The Triond Experiment

  • Erin Miller on Jan 9, 2011

    After the first sentence I was hooked. I love your story so far. It reminds me a little of a book series I used to read when I was in junior high. The name of the series escapes me but it was about teens that transformed into animals but could only do it for certain periods of time. I love you story. I can’t wait to read the rest of it!

  • Jade Brooks on Jan 17, 2011

    I think it would be easier to follow if written in third person POV.
    very good.

  • Ima Vee on Jan 24, 2011

    Wonderful start… I\’ll definitely read the sequel… :D

  • LJ Spain on Feb 11, 2011

    Awesome story, but I feel the same way I do when I am watching tv and it says ‘to be continued’. Now I have to wait for the rest. 865 likes. Heellll00!

  • C.V. Sivaprakashan on Mar 14, 2011

    Wonderful story!

  • Hendrik on Mar 14, 2011

    Good writing!

  • roopakumar on May 16, 2011

    I wondered whenever i see your blogs since it has much information and it has written in a simple manner so that viewers can easily get your point.I must appreciate your way of writing.Thanks for sharing.
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  • Audacious on May 20, 2011

    Nice start…you keep the reader wants to read more…I’ll wait for your next post..

  • Love, Marriage and oh… Coffee on May 28, 2011

    Really a good story… i like the story… Thanks for sharing..

  • Victoria Erin on Jun 5, 2011

    I am so buying this. I want to buy it and lay downin a cosy spot and read it.

  • AKanksha on Jun 16, 2011

    hey..i just discover the broken-candle recently..i really like it.

  • ecotourism internships on Nov 24, 2011

    the framework of the line is awesome.

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