Marshall H (gesturing wildly): No fear, Victim Lady!!

(He punches the mugger in the face three times, causing the man to semi-collapse)

Marshall H (in disgust): You disgust me, Mullet Guy!! Give me your money!

Mullet Guy: …take it…just…

(Marshall takes the man’s wallet, he turns to the lady)

Marshall H: Victim Lady, what’s the date?! And where am I? And, do you have any money?!

Victim Lady: The 23rd of August. 2009. And it’s Manhattan. Here, here a fiver.

Marshall H: Thanks, Victim Lady!

(He disappears in a burst of glowing green sparks)

SCENE 4:

(April 14, 1865)

(Marshall appears, caught in the red curtains)

Marshall H (muffled): Damn these…curtains!!!

(He untangles himself and bumps into Abraham Lincoln and his wife, Mary Todd)

Marshall H: I’m very sorry! It’s these curtains sent by Mary Murphy!!

Abraham Lincoln (laughs): Stay here, the play is starting soon.

(Marshall stands beside Abraham)

Marshall H (stifling a yawn): Really…what play?

Abraham L (looks surprised): Our American Cousin, of course!

Marshall H: Hey look, the play is starting now.

(They watch the man acting on the stage. Marshall looks bored and Abraham L’s bodyguard wanders off)

(Man in shadow creeps behind Abraham)

Man on stage (loudly): “You sock-dologizing old man-trap”

(The man jumps out of the shadows and aims a pistol at the President’s head)

Marshall H: HEY!!

(Marshall shoulder charges the man out of the way, knocking pistol out of his hand, causing it to go off and hit bodyguard, who was whistling as he went upstairs. Marshall holds the man in a headlock. More bodyguards run up the stairs and surround Abraham)

Marshall H: What…are…you, fiend?!!

John Wilkes Booth (spits out a bloody tooth): Sic semper tyrannis!

(Marshall shakes him roughly, still holding on to him)

John W (through gritted teeth): I’ve come to assassinate you!

Marshall H: Another Mary Murphy crony, I see!

John W: Not you, fool. President Lincoln, the black slave lover.

Abraham L (points at John W): Arrest this traitorous fool!

(The bodyguards grab John W and drag him away roughly)

(Abraham Lincoln stretches out a hand for Marshall to shake)

Abraham L: I must thank you, stranger! We were destined to meet!

(Marshall makes to shake his hand but starts to become transparent. Just as he is about to disappear, he explodes/internally combusts, killing Abraham Lincoln)

SCENE 5:

(There is a click and the space is lit up)

(There is a note on the floor)

Marshall H: Where am I?! Even Mary Murphy could not have stooped so low!

(He walks to the middle of the room and picks up the note)

THE NOTE SAYS: Hello, Marshall Heinz, bearer of the space/time warp power. You have, unfortunately distorted the space time fabric, causing yourself to cease to exist.

Marshall H: I don’t believe it!

THE NOTE (the words fade away and are replaced by): It is, sadly, the truth, Mr. Heinz. You see, Mary Todd, the President’s wife and your ancestor twenty-three times over, married your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand father…only after President Abraham Lincoln died. And now that he still lives, not only you cease to exist, but a large portion of your family line also ceases to exist.

Marshall H (shocked): So…I’m dead…??

(A chair appears from nowhere and Marshall falls on it. Marshall puts his head in his hands, depressed)

THE NOTE: Yes…and, Mary Murphy isn’t your enemy.

Marshall H (absently): She’ll always be my enemy. I die now, right? So why isn’t it happening?

(A low chuckle from nowhere echoes loudly around the walls)

Mysterious Voice: Well, it appears you still live!! Back to the living you go! Hahahaha Haha…

(Marshall H disappears in a shower of multi-colored sparks)

SCENE6:

April 14, 1865)>

(Marshall pops back to The Ford Theatre and wipes his forehead in relief. There’s a circle of bodyguards surrounding Abraham body. Bodyguards point at him accusingly)

Bodyguard: That’s him!! He’s the assassin!

(Marshall H steps back in confusion)

Marshall H: Woah, calm down. I didn’t kill anyone!!

Bodyguard: Don’t deny it! You strapped gunpowder to yourself and the President was killed in the blast, you coward!

Marshall H (thinking): I must have exploded when I “died” !!

(Bodyguard draws his weapon)

Bodyguard (yells): What are you just standing there for!!? Get HIM!!!

(They all rush forward)

Marshall H: Crap. Time to go!!

(He disappears in a burst of glowing blue sparks)

THE END

(will the adventure continue???!)