Left four dead story.

I found myself following him through the alleyway, being curiously eyed by every infected we passed. This alley was heavily surrounded by infected and I had to hope nobody wandered too close or risk putting their lives in jeopardy as mine probably was.
Hunter stopped without warning and I ran into him by accident. Shockingly, he didn’t snarl or bare his teeth or anything that would show hostility towards me for running into him. “This is my alleyway.” Hunter declared without any warning. “Me and many of my undead companions live here. Most ‘Zombies’ prefer living a rather solo life. But me and a close friend of mine learned that we survived longer then forming a group and making a permanent home rather then gallivanting around like a bunch of pixies. We found not only did we get a lot more food this way, but we also died to survivors less. It seemed large hoards of infected inhabiting one place is working. So if I got this much correct, I figure I must be doing something right with my mind. So I’m gonna keep following instinct and instinct tells me not to kill you.”
“Pretending like I understand all of this…” I muttered nervously, wondering if this Hunter escaped from the mental institute. Considering he was the first infected I had ever seen that didn’t want to kill me. Something was up.
Once again, Hunter threw me another smile and suddenly I wished I had let his brother claw my stomach open. “You’ll understand in due time. For now, I’ll show you around and introduce you to the more important infected. I’m sure you already know all the special infected. But I still feel the need to introduce you. You’ve never seen them this close.” That sounded like something the Akron Zoo would say and suddenly I felt very sorry for myself.
I followed Hunter nervously as he guided me through the alleyway once more. Something just felt extremely strange about following an infected through an alley when previous version of it wanted to eat your face.
Hunter stopped dead and I found myself charging into him from behind. “This is— wait where the heck are you?” He glanced around, looking for any sign of me. He then heard a scared whimper and looked downwards. “What in the world are you doing down there?”
Down below Hunter, I was curled up in a ball, hiding behind his legs. “H-he’s too freaky. I refuse to get close to him.”
Without warning, Hunter grabbed my hand and yanked me upwards. “Just come meet him. Trust me, he’s not gonna eat you. I’m already explaining to everyone that you’re here for a solid reason. Anyways, nobody here steals another’s prey without permission. Anyways, this is Boomer. There’s only one Boomer around here and him and the common infected guard the entry way to the alley, making sure that no humans get in here.”
For some reason, I felt safe standing close to Hunter. I stepped forward towards Boomer nervously. Boomer didn’t seem the least bit hostile towards me. In fact, he looked rather cheerful and welcoming. It was if I were simply another infected.
“He-hello…” I muttered shyly, worried to take another step towards the zombified beast.
Boomer shockingly nodded his head in a welcoming fashion. “Human. Welcome.”
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say or do. I muttered something under my breath, but even I wasn’t sure what exactly I had just mumbled. Hunter gave me a rather confused glance and he appeared to be slightly worried about the lack of conversation we were having. Well that was his fault. Not mine.
“Hunter tell me you new human here. He say I not eat you. So I not.” Boomer said to me when I said nothing to him. “I guard entrance. Other humans not enter. You not leave. My job simple.” I wasn’t very surprised to see Boomer’s lack of properly developed speech. In fact, I had always figured a Boomer would have undeveloped speaking habits.
Once again, I muttered something. But it was still inaudible. “Right.” Hunter suddenly interrupted. “Well human, this is Boomer and like he said, he guards the way in. Pretty much that’s it. So come with me. I fear for the next one, but I’ve got to introduce you eventually.”
When Hunter said that I figured he was introducing me to someone even worse then Boomer. Unfortunately, there were many infected I labeled as worse then him. Charger and Tank were bigger. So they appeared more terrifying. But Witch was worse too because she was extremely hostile. I would just have to wait and learn who exactly I was being cursed with meeting. And when we arrived, I knew I was in for some serious hell.
I immediately lost all feeling in my body and dropped to the ground like a dead person. This time I actually grabbed Hunter’s leg and held on for my life. “Save me! Save me! I’m gonna die! Don’t let him eat me!”
“You gotta be shitting me.” Hunter spat in discontent. He threw me an unimpressed look as he watched me holding his leg in a death grip. “Stop acting like a child. I told you nobody is gonna eat you. And if they try I’ll tear their hearts out from their chests.”
I rose to my feet timidly but refused to step closer. I stood directly next to Hunter, trying to make myself appear small and hoping I would be overlooked.
When Charger made a loud snorting noise, I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Charger. Human. Kill?” Charger released another snort of fury from his nostrils like a wild boar.
“No Charger, this isn’t food.” Hunter replied to Charger. I was glad he understood because Charger’s way of speaking confused me to no end. “She’s mine and no, I’m not eating her either. I’m going to be teaching her in the ways of the Hunter. I thought I’d get her familiar with everyone around here.”
Charger glanced at me, still snorting, which startled me. “Human. Stay here. Charger. Only one. No company. Loner. Hunter. Train you. Charger. Protect. Not eat.” I tilted my head in pure mystification as Charger spoke. His sentences never seemed to exceed two words, which was royally confusing.
“What did he say?” I asked in confusion, turning to look at Hunter.
A glint ran through Hunter’s nonexistent eye and I now realized that he simply found this humorous. “You’ll get used to the way Charger speaks. He’s just simplifying the sentences to make up for time. Basically he just said, “You stay here human. I’m Charger. There is only one of me, no company. I’m a loner. Hunter will train you. I will protect you; not eat you.” That easier to understand?” Hunter explained it to me in simple terms.
Suddenly the world made sense and I smiled and agreed, “Ah, that makes sense now.”
I found myself being startled as Hunter suddenly screamed, “Good!” and threw his arm around my shoulder again. “We might as well get this all said and done so we can calm things down. I don’t wanna end by scaring the living crap out of you. Come with me and please don’t hide behind me or grab any part of my body.”
Nervously, I followed Hunter to meet the next of the special infected. I prepared to bolt for a good hiding spot because I had a fairly good guess who we were meeting next. When I heard a ferocious roar and saw a huge figure approaching, I bolted without Hunter noticing.
“Next we have— where are you this time?” Hunter began explaining, only to realize I bolted. “Where the heck did you go!?” He then spotted me hanging on to a loose pole high on a building. “What in the name of infected are you doing up there, committing suicide? I won’t allow it!”
I shook my head no and shyly replied, “No. But that thing’s gonna kill me. I’m not stupid. I know how hostile they are. I refuse; refuse to come down I say. Refuse!!” I tightened my grip on the pole. If Hunter wanted me to come down and meet his buddy he could come up and get me.
“Look, I promise you he won’t attack you. Come down!!” Hunter screeched at me, clearly losing his temper.
I continued to refuse moving. So he lost his temper and came after me, after signaling Tank he would be right back. I clung on to the pole with a violent death grip as Hunter personally scaled the wall to come retrieve me. Well, I DID say he would have to scale the wall if he wanted to reach me. And he did. I just wasn’t expecting it. He personally climbed on top of the pole and started shaking it as hard as he could to make me fall.
Before I had time to notice what was going on, I suddenly lost my grip. I found myself plummeting towards the ground at top speed. I screamed in terror and prepared to collide with the ground below. But before I could slam and die, something caught me and I felt myself being cradled in something’s arms. 
Terrified to do so, I glanced up nervously to confirm my worst fears. Indeed it was confirmed, I was being held by Tank. For some reason Tank had chosen to step forward and save me from falling to my death below. He wasn’t squeezing or trying to crush me. In fact, I now noticed he wasn’t even growling. When I struggled, it just startled him a bit.
Tank didn’t like my struggling and started growing slightly hostile. “Stop struggling!!” Hunter screamed at me suddenly. He then turned to Tank, holding his hands up and looking Tank right in the eyes. “Tank! Down Tank! Calm down. Please calm yourself.” He lowered his voice and soothingly cooed to Tank, and to my surprise, calmed him down.
Soon Tank was back to his previous calm and collected self and I tried not to break out in terror in his arms. I shivered in total fear, hoping that he would put me down soon. I was confused that he wasn’t speaking or anything. He just stared at me with a curious glint in his eyes.
Without warning, Hunter interrupted, “This is Tank and like Boomer and Charger, he’s the only one of the group. Tanks are very ferocious, so we can’t control 2 of them. This one here is actually a pretty gentle soul. He’s just easily startled, as your struggling proved. Tank never learned proper English. So he doesn’t understand you and won’t speak with you. He’s like a dog. So he only knows certain commands. Tank either likes or hates you. He kills the ones he hates and defends the one he likes with his life. I would say he likes you.”
“C-can he l-li-like me when I-I’m on the g-gro-ground?” I asked, shivering in pure terror.
Hunter chuckled at my terror. “Tank, put her down.” Tank glanced at Hunter in confusion. “Down. Put her down. Drop her.” Slowly, but surely, Tank put me on the ground, eyeing Hunter as if he wasn’t sure he was doing it right. “Good boy, Tank.” Hunter congratulated him.
Once I was back on the ground I instantly ran over to Hunter, hiding behind him. I didn’t care how much he claimed that Tank liked me. I wasn’t trusting that giant monster. “Can we go meet someone less terrifying now?”
Chuckling once again, Hunter replied, “We sure can.” He turned to the curious Tank and said, “Hey Tank! You can go play now. I’ll just be showing your little friend around.” Tank nodded eagerly at Hunter. Before he dashed off, my grinned at me in a rather cheerful manner. “Now come on. I wanna introduce you to my girlfriend, but I think we have a couple of major freaks to get out of the way first.”
By major freaks, I was guessing he meant Jockey and Spitter. I followed him nervously, waiting until he would stop and force to meet someone else I was terrified of. Without warning, huge piles of acid came shooting right at us. Hunter pushed me aside without warning and the acid just barely missed me. Three Spitters came running out, spitting more acid. However, they stopped when they saw Hunter.
“Hello Hunter.” One Spitter greeted, not even noticing me standing next to him. Either that or she didn’t care.
The next one flashed a glance, but otherwise didn’t seem too interested in my presence. “Greetings Hunter, darling.” Hunter snarled slightly at her and I figured she was a hopeless flirt. Yuck!
“Greetingsssss and sssssalutationsssss indeed, Hunter.” The final one hissed in a serpentine style, slowly and carefully approaching me with an expression that said she wanted me as her next snack.
Hunter pushed me back behind him slightly and I realized why he didn’t care much for the Spitters. “These psychos are the Spitter Triplets. The first Spitter is actually semi friendly and the least strange of the three. The second one is a hopeless flirt. But otherwise she doesn’t involve herself in much. Then the last one with the snakes tongue is rather violent, hostile, and all around strange. Best avoid her. Now, you three don’t eat my human. She’s here for training, not to become your snack. Got it?” He glared at the third Spitter as he spoke.
The first Spitter simply replied calmly, “I understand perfectly, Hunter. I won’t eat your human.”
The second one continued to flirt with Hunter by sending him facial cues. I noticed he shivered slightly at the sight of being flirted at by a Spitter. “I wouldn’t dare touch your human, Hunter baby.” Once again, I could’ve sworn I heard Hunter snarl at her.
“Oh of coursssssse not, Hunter. Assssss much as I want to eat your human, I will refrain from laying a hand on her. Sssssssound good to you, doessssss it human?” I shivered just as Hunter did and took a huge step back as she addressed me directly, flicking her tongue out at me in a way that made me feel rather uncomfortable. I didn’t trust that she wasn’t gonna eat me.
Hunter rolled his eyes and simply pointed. The three crazy Spitters shrugged and went back to whatever it was they were doing before. Both Hunter and I heaved a sigh of relief. “Enough of that strangeness. Let’s hurry up and get the other trio over with. Those are the only Spitters in this alley.” Hunter turned to me and explained as he guided me to the next special infected. “They’re kind of strange, but they work a good lookout and group attack when they aren’t fighting each other. Next I’ll introduce you to Jockey. There are actually four Jockeys living in this alley. But three of them are siblings and yes, they are related to the Spitters. Anyways, they all out on a hunt. So I’ll introduce you to the lone wolf of the pack.” Hunter stopped dead and I looked around for something interesting. “Meet Jockey.”
Was I supposed to be seeing Jockey or was he invisible?  I looked around everywhere for Jockey and didn’t ever spot him. “Where exactly is he? What am I supposed to be looking for?”
I heard a rather nefarious giggle and next thing I knew my head was being humped by Jockey. He literally came from nowhere. “Hi there human hi! How are you!? Jockey is good! Good!! Good!! Its nice to meet you! Jockey like meeting people! You are people! Hunter bring company for Jockey! Jockey have someone who isn’t related to Spitters to talk with! You talk with Jockey right!? Right!?!”
“Jockey! Get off her!” Hunter yelled at Jockey as he went all hyper on my head. “You’re not doing any good. You’re just scaring her.”
When Jockey realized he was scaring me, he hopped off my head. He landed on the branch of a nearby tree, laughing like a madman. “Jockey is sorry. Jockey didn’t mean to scare human. You forgive right? You must forgive!”
Backing away slightly, worried he might hop on my head and start screaming various things again, I nervously replied, “Erm… sure… Yeah I-I forgive you Jockey.” I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to forgive him or not.
The second I told him I forgave him, he got all happy again for no reason. “Yay! Jockey is happy human forgives him! Yay! Yay!! Yay!!!” Jockey made another attempt to jump at my head, but Hunter quickly jumped in the way and stopped him. When Jockey realized he landed on Hunter instead, he leaped back.
“Is he always this nutty?” I asked timidly. “And why does he speak in third person?”
Hunter sneered in my direction; but it was a playful sneer. “That’s Jockey for you. To be honest, the others are pretty much the same. Except not quite as friendly. Jockey here just wants to make some friends. We think he might be stealing coffee from the rooms of these abandoned houses. As for speaking in third person… nobody quite understands that one. He just does it.” Hunter explained it as well as he could, appearing to be a little mystified about half the things he was saying. I didn’t blame him. I would be the same way. Describing the hyper habits of that Jockey was like describing an alien. You just weren’t sure what to say.
I uneasily muttered, “Suuuuuure…” and backed away from Jockey even more, still not trusting the ball of energy.
Hunter appeared to be thinking the same thing I was because he stepped in between me and Jockey, who was scratching his head with his foot like a dog, and said, “Right then. Well, we’d love to stick around and listen to your ramblings, but I’ve gotta introduce her to two more special infected.”
“Alright!!” Jockey agreed cheerfully. “You bring human back for Jockey! Jockey likes company.”
Sarcastically, rolling his yes, Hunter replied, “Oh of course Jockey.” He tugged on my sleeve and darkly hissed, “Let’s go!” I didn’t argue either. I just followed. “The other two are usually very close to one another. In fact… she should be around here somewhere…”
Hunter stopped suddenly and when I tried to speak he held a clawed finger to my mouth. I fell silent instantly and waited to see what the hell Hunter was up to. Hunter was listening closely to his surroundings. I heard nothing at all, but suddenly Hunter pulled on my sleeve once more and said, “I can hear her crying over here. Follow me! She can’t be far.”
I figured already that he was introducing me to Witch next. Not only did I just guess good, but there’s only two female special infected (and he said she, not he) and I already met Spitter. Plus he said crying and only Witch cries.
Without much warning; which was getting common for Hunter to do; Hunter stopped dead. I continued on and suddenly found myself tripping over something, falling flat on my face on the pavement. I rose to my feet and groaned, “Ugh what the hell Hunter! You just stop for no reason and don’t warn me your stopping. Plus you just let me trip over shit. What the heck dude!?”
Hunter simply chuckled and I froze when I heard a soft sobbing below me. Terror raced in my heart as I glanced down unwillingly to see what I had tripped over. To my unpleasant surprise, there was a Witch sitting down there, glaring up at me with blood red eyes. “Oh frack a Witch!!” I screamed suddenly and fled as quickly as I could, bolting behind Hunter and pleading the Witch wouldn’t get ticked.
“Don’t worry about startling Witch. She knows not to eat you.” Hunter explained to me, stepping right aside so I wasn’t hiding behind him anymore. “Isn’t that right, Witch?”
Witch bared her teeth slightly, scratching the ground with her blood soaked claws, and hissed, “I hate you, Hunter.”
My smile of the thought of a cute coupled pairing of Witch and Hunter faded instantly and confusion replaced it. I turned to Hunter and innocently inquired, “I thought she was your girlfriend?”
The second I said the word girlfriend, Witch threw herself to her feet and I figured my spleen was coming out. “GIRLFRIEND!?!” Witch hissed loudly, scaring the crap out of both me and Hunter. “Is he still feeding everyone these lies that I’m his girlfriend!? I’m not his girlfriend!! Every other Witch might go gaga over Hunters, especially him. But I refuse. RE-FUSE!! I can’t stand Hunter!!” She stopped yelling at me and directed it to Hunter instead. “Why do you keep telling everyone this!? Now you’re even telling your pet human that I’m your girlfriend!? I DON’T LIKE YOU!!! Do you understand that you block head!? I. Don’t. Like. You. So do everyone a favor and go shoot yourself in a hole. Come back when you’re dead.” Witch gulped in a huge breath of air and plopped on the ground. The second she hit the ground she broke into a frenzy of loud sobbing noises.
Hunter grinned and coyly said, “Oh she so digs me.” Witch, not liking that comment, stood up and glared at him. “How are you doing this lovely night, baby?” He asked harmlessly.
“Shut up.” Witch growled. Without any warning, Witch brought up her foot and kicked him downstairs. Hunter cried out in eternal pain and collapsed to the ground instantly. She looked at me and said, “Don’t ever become stupid like him. And don’t let him pull you into his little mind trap.” She then once again plopped on the ground and went back to crying.
I looked down as Hunter rolled on the ground, also crying, but for a different reason. He was ranting various things as he tried to end the pain. Finally after like five minutes of acting rather deranged, he rose to his feet, using me as a leaning post. “Holy shit that smarts.”
For some reason, I allowed him to lean on me. Maybe it was the fear that if I didn’t he would sic the entire alley on me. However, it didn’t stop me from sarcastically adding, “Well you’re the dumbass who pissed her off.”
Hunter growled darkly at me, but otherwise made no further hostile actions in my direction. “Let’s just go meet the final of the special infected before I get really ticked off when I don’t need to.” He groaned in pain and grabbed me, dragging me as he limped weakly ahead.
I already knew who the last of the infected was. But it was clear Hunter wanted to surprise me a bit, so I pretended like I had cluelessly forgot. After a minute or so of walking, Hunter came back to his senses and the pain subsided. But there was still something humorous about Witch kicking a Hunter downstairs.
Hunter stopped dead again; however I was expecting it this time. He then mumbled to himself, “Well, I could’ve sworn he was around here. He told me he was gonna be here and I didn’t see him go anywhere. Where the flying aardvark is that idiot!?”
“Ooh! Hunter brought back his little friend!” a voice cooed from nowhere.
Hunter glanced up curiously to try and find where the voice was coming from. But even his highly trained ears couldn’t pinpoint the voice for certain. “Where you you hiding you idiot!? I’m so not in the mood to play hide and seek today. So come out before I kill you!”
“Woah Hunter! Heel boy!” the same voice chuckled. I shivered as I felt something feeling around my face. I dared to follow my eyes over to see what it was. So I came to the shook of not just Smoker’s tongue, but the entire Smoker himself standing right next to me. I stumbled over in shock and yipped slightly, like a startled puppy. Smoker’s tongue continued to feel around my face and Smoker cooed, “And you didn’t just bring back any human. You brought back a cute human.”
Glaring, but not daring to move my head, I snarled, “I don’t date idiots.” I was trying to be hostile, but I think it just attracted him like Witch’s hostility towards Hunter did.
Smoker’s second tongue started playing with my arm and the first one found that it fancied spending time underneath my chin. I was about to say the third tongue was staying motionless, but then it startled gently tickling me on the back of my neck. “Hey, I’m Smoker.”
“Hey, I’m totally not your type.” I replied with a dark growl, trying to mock his greeting.
Hunter couldn’t help but laugh and I knew from that moment I was gonna smash Hunter’s face directly into Smoker’s one day. “Smoker, she’s out of your league. Give it up.” He grinned and continued, “Anyways, she’s here to learn the way of the Hunter, not to spend time with you.”
Smoker completely tuned Hunter out and went right back to flirting with me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder suddenly, which stopped two of his three tongues from playing with my face and getting slime all over it. “By the way human, I really like you pants.” I thought for a moment he was actually saying something sensible. But then he added, “Do you think I could get into them?” And I quickly decided I was going to punch his lights out.
Hunter nearly spat his nonexistent drink on the floor. “Smoker dude! Are you serious!?” he screamed suddenly in pure astonishment when Smoker made his pick up line. “That was unnecessary!”
Smoker gave Hunter a completely confused glance. “What do you mean?” he asked curiously.
“That was a bit over the roof.” Hunter explained. I attempted to sneak away as Hunter spoke. “That’s the kind of thing you tell someone who’s already interested in you.”
Right before I escaped, Smoker noticed me attempting to flee. His lead tongue flung over at me and wrapped around me, pulling me back towards him against my will. “She is interested in me, Hunter.” Smoker grinned, ignoring my hostility. “She just hasn’t realized it yet.”
Glaring into space, not aiming the glare at anything in particular, I snarled, “Trust me, I’ve realized my un-interest in you. I really don’t like you.”
But Smoker ignored me almost entirely. I was pretty sure he had just blurred out the word don’t so all he would hear is ‘I really like you’. Smoker loosened his grip on me without realizing and said to Hunter, “Neither of you know what you’re talking about. She’s totally in love with me. She’s madly in love with me.” Without warning, I broke free of his grip and fled before he could realize what I was doing. Hunter and Smoker both watched as I ran like a free range chicken.

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