When Lenny turned eighteen he decided to escape. He enlisted in the Navy. Lenny and Jim talked about Lenny’s enlistment for a long time. Lenny just barely made it through high school by the skin of his teeth. He was becoming a nervous wreck because of his parents and he had to make his decision to go now because he was at the point he could not continue to cope with the fighting. Lenny didn’t realize that it was the strength of him and his brother Jim together that kept each of them from going over the deep end. Jim knew this though, but didn’t say anything. Jim felt that Lenny going into the service was indeed the best decision for Lenny; in fact, it was the only decision.

On a dismal, rainy fall day Jim, his mother, father and grandmother took Lenny down to the train station, downtown Detroit, and said farewell to Lenny. His train left for the Great Lakes Naval Recruit Center in Chicago. As the train pulled away Jim knew it was a part of himself leaving on that train. Now, Jim was left to cope with his parents by himself. On the way home Jim’s parents got into one of their senseless arguments about making a wrong turn and Jim began to cry. It finally occurred to him that he was alone and Jim cried himself to sleep on the way home from the train station.

CHAPTER V

Drink to escape

Jim was now fourteen years old. In the family home is a finished basement, consisting of a bedroom, bathroom, laundry room and recreation room. In the recreation room was a large bar, which was always well stocked. His parents didn’t drink, but kept an ample supply of liquor on hand to entertain their friends. Jim began to drink. His parents never really paid any attention to him. They each worked long hours at their respective jobs and paid little attention to Jim’s moving into the basement. He had his room decorated in the normal boyish fashion and he kept a guitar in the recreation room. This basement became his hideaway; it took the place of the top of the stairs, which he no longer was able to share with his brother. When Jim needed a safe place to hid from all the outside world be would go downstairs, drink and play his guitar. He eventually became quite good on the guitar. He even formed a group with four other fellows. They called themselves the Everglades and began to play at most of the high school dances and parties. Jim and his band became very popular and he consistently had a house full of people when the band came over to practice. But Jim’s drinking became worse and most of his friends knew it. He would drink when he came home from school and played his guitar until he passed out. Jim was living his own life now and his parents lived together, but did not live together as husband and wife. Since Lenny left Jim’s drinking became his crutch. He had no one to talk with or no one to turn to, so a drink became his best friend. Jim would just get drunk and hold his feelings inside. He knew no other was to cope, except to drink.

Jim loved sports and was relatively good at them. In high school began to play football, baseball, and track. One day while playing baseball he slid into third base and his foot booked on the bag and tore the ligaments in his knee. That was the end of his dazzling sports career. Jim, of course, was very disappointed and resentful, but again, he held these feelings deep inside himself, because he had no one to vent his feelings with except his good old friend, the bottle. Jim was in the Varsity Club and was very popular, but it was know that he drank quite a bit. Some of the teachers even knew about it. One day Jim came to school drunk and one of the teachers took him into a band practice room and gave him coffee to try to help sober him up. But the teacher never even tried to find out what was wrong. He just felt that it was Jim’s problem and that “boys will be boys” and getting drunk was just part of growing up and going to high school. Jim had always been a very likeable person. Even his teachers liked him a lot. But no one ever took time to really know him or ask any questions. They could see him, but yet they couldn’t see the real person. They never spent the time to try to look inside the wall that Jim was building around himself.

Jim never really got into any serious trouble, but he did hang around with some of the guys who did. Whenever there was trouble, Jim was usually there. He wasn’t really involved, but he somehow seemed to manage to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but also was able to walk away from it. Jim had the reputation of being a little on the hoody side. He generally wore his black and gold varsity jacket and had many girls around him. He traveled in the fast lane and the people around him loved it. The principal at Jim’s school did not like him and whenever anything major happened at the school Jim was the first one to be pulled in and questioned. It became a standing joke because the principal was never able to really pin anything on Jim that would amount too much more than a warning.

One night just before homecoming a group of students from Taylor East, the big school rival, came over and burned a big “T” in the middle of the high school football field. A group of Varsity Club members from Jim’s school decided to retaliate and two carloads of students went over to Taylor East and totally destroyed the football field and some of the high school classrooms. Someone opened blue and gold paint cans and poured the paint all over the desks and files. Then they took some rope, soaked it in gasoline, placed it in the form of the high school letters and lit the rope. This burned the letters into the grass right in front of the goal posts. Of course Jim was right there. But “who done it” was kept a deep, dark secret legend.

The next day of course Jim was one of the first to be called down to the principal’s office and they tried to bluff Jim into confessing and telling on the others. After about two hours of constant drilling the principal learned that of all people, Jim was the least likely to say anything. No one was ever able to get to Jim because they did not know Jim’s big secret. They were not aware that he really didn’t give a damn. And that was about anything. Jim was cool. He was just so cool that he was untouchable. At least to anyone Jim had met so far.

CHAPTER VI

Jim met the love of his live

One night Jim and three of his friends were going to a high school dance. Jim parked his car in a nearby field close to the school and pulled out a big G.I.Q. bottle of beer. They all passed the bottle around and began to get pretty high. It seemed to be a status sigh if the guys came into a dance and the girls were able to smell a little alcohol on their breath. Well, anyone who hung around Jim automatically fell into the high status level because Jim always had a little alcohol in his system. Jim was walking around as cool as usual when he first says Sandy. Sandy was the captain of the cheerleaders and a real goody-goody. She was dancing with Dan, her boyfriend. Sandy lived in the better part of town and she and her sisters and parents were a very close family. When Jim says her he immediately fell for her. She was standing with Dan, wearing her glue and gold cheerleading outfit and her red hair glistened from the sparkles of the revolving colored lights. She had the cutest pug nose and a smile that would melt even the most frigid iceberg ever known to man. Jim watched Sandy and Dan together most of the night and when Dan left to go to the bathroom Jim (who was full of courage by now) walked up to Sandy and asked her to dance. Sandy and Dan were going together, but not officially. But everyone knew that they were an item. Sandy said “yea” to Jim and they began to dance. “My name is Jim. I’ve seen you in school before, and I want to tell you that you are one of the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Jim was usually very sure of him and knew what he was doing. But for some reason when he was close to Sandy he couldn’t even talk right. Everything Jim tried to say to Sandy came out almost incoherent. Sandy knew what was happening to Jim, so she tried to ease the tension by leading the conversation. “I’ve seen you playing football before, don’t forget I’m a cheerleader” Sandy said. “Yes, I played for a while until I got hurt.” Jim replied. Then out of the clear Jim said, “I love you”. Jim was astounded at what he was hearing himself say. It was as though he opened his mouth and the words came running out all by them self. Sandy was shocked at the impact of his words, but was very gentle with him. “You know I’m going with Dan.” “Yes, I know, but just watch. Soon you’ll be going with me.” Jim could not believe what was coming out of his mouth. The song ended and Jim looked at Sandy for a brief moment, which seemed to last a lifetime, then walked away totally confused. Sandy could smell the beer on Jim’s breath and felt he was just making a poor pass at her, but something about him attracted her and she just watched him walk away. She though Jim was really cute, but knew of his reputation, especially with women. Jim went back to his friends and Sandy went back with Dan for the night. Jim picked up another girl at the dance and left with her to go to a party, a very private party. Jim was known never to leave a dance alone. He always had some attractive girl by his side.

Monday morning when school started Jim saw Sandy at her locker and she was alone. Dan was not with her now, so Jim thought this could be his big chance to talk with her. Jim approached Sandy and said, “Did you have a nice time at the dance Friday night?” Sandy said, “I sure did. It turned out to be a very interesting evening.” “Yea”-said Jim. Jim started looking around and while gazing down at his shoes said, “Listen, Sandy. I’m really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” (Jim had not apologized for anything in his life until know) Sandy looked at him for and turned, took about two steps, turned towards Jim and with a big, alluring smile said, “Don’t worry, you didn’t.” Jim just stood there and watched Sandy walk away and disappear into the crowded hall. Jim felt that he was almost mesmerized by Sandy’s comment. A minute later Jim snapped back to reality and went to class.

During the next few weeks Jim and Sandy would occasionally run into each other in the halls between classes. They would either pass each other or smile, or they would stop and exchange a little small talk. Then in about the third week of this hit and miss process, Jim finally asked her out. Not too far from where Sandy lived was a miniature golf course. Jim asked Sandy to go golfing with him. Sandy though for a few minutes while Jim stood there like a little boy waiting to open his first Christmas package. Then Sandy looked directly into Jim’s eyes and said, “Sure, why not!” “It sure took you long enough to ask”. Jim picked Sandy up at her home and she introduced him to her parents. Going miniature golfing was not a typical date for Jim, but Sandy did seem to have fun. Jim’s usual dates encompassed some drinking, music, and topped off with a little free for all sex.

After playing golf they went for a little ride. Jim drove around the older part of Wyandotte until he stopped the car in front of a cute little house, like something out of a fairy tale, with white picket fence, flowers and all. Jim looked at Sandy and blurted out, “Some day a place like that will be ours. You and I will settle down and live in a place just like this.” Of course Sandy was a little surprised and didn’t quite know what to say. They continued to drive around over the bridge that led to Grosse Ile, a little island off the main part of the downriver area. Jim drove around the island until they arrived at the “wishing well.” The “wishing well” as it was called by the locals, was a pipe coming out of the ground with a running fountain that spouted about five feet into the air. It was an old underground running well, and despite its strong sulfur smell had become known as one of the most romantic spots in the area. Jim and Sandy got out of the car and walked around the well. Jim tossed a coin into it, turned and looked at Sandy, gently reached out to Sandy’s chin, and while holding it gave her a soft, gentle kiss. They looked back into each other’s eyes and Jim said, “I guess I better take you home now.” “I guess you better,” replied Sandy. On the way back to Sandy’s house there was an almost complete silence in the car, but they snuggled very close to each other. About as close as two people can get without sitting in each other’s laps. Jim pulled into Sandy’s driveway. They looked at each other and embraced in a loving, passionate kiss. This was the way most of Jim’s dates started off, but for Sandy this kiss was a little more than she was really used to. The porch light went on and they both knew it was time to go. Over the next few weeks Dan fell by the wayside and Jim and Sandy became quite a pair. They were always together. Jim’s friends noticed a change coming over him. He began to quit hanging out and when he was with Sandy he seemed to be a completely different person. Things were changing for Jim, faster than he or anyone else realized. Jim’s drinking drastically slowed down and he even began to step around that big solid wall he had built around himself.

Continued in Part 3

Link to: “Why, Lord, Why” Part – 3