CHARACTERS:

WOMAN: late 20s to early 30s; sexed up business attire.

MAN: late 20s to early 30s; business attire.

In a bar, at a table littered with a glasses. Ambient sounds fade…

WOMAN

I had a dream last night.

MAN

Nuclear war?

WOMAN

No, thank you.

MAN

I mean, did you dream about nuclear war too?

WOMAN

I dreamt about you.

MAN

Same thing.

(Pause.)

What was I doing in your dream?

WOMAN

Making me happy. Very happy.

MAN

Okay.

WOMAN

Yeah.

MAN

Happy happy?

WOMAN

The happiest of happies.

MAN

This is a little uncomfortable.

WOMAN

Tell me about it. I’m the one who had the dream and it was very vivid.

MAN

And we were…?

WOMAN

Oh yes. Many times.

MAN

I feel so violated.

WOMAN

Please.

MAN

Did you see me naked in the dream?

WOMAN

Dah.

MAN

That’s not fair.

WOMAN

Excuse me.

MAN

I’ve never seen you naked in any of my dreams.

WOMAN

That’s not my fault.

MAN

I feel like you have something on me.

WOMAN

A dream.

MAN

Was I, ya know…?

WOMAN

Not too big, not too small, just right.

MAN

Then it really was a dream cause I’m -

WOMAN

A pencil?

MAN

Low.

WOMAN

Couldn’t help it.

(MAN concentrates.)

What are you doing?

MAN

Trying to picture you naked.

WOMAN

Wouldn’t it be easier to just look at me?

MAN

That’d be cheating.

(He smiles.)

Not bad.

WOMAN

Thanks.

MAN

So, did I say anything?

WOMAN

I don’t remember words.

MAN

Ah, the language of love.

WOMAN

We just did it over and over and over-

MAN

Okay, this is starting to get a little weird.

WOMAN

Starting?

MAN

Okay, way beyond. Maybe we should try talking about-

WOMAN

Is your chest really hairy, cause in my dream it was, really hairy, and I liked it, which is peculiar, and why I

WOMAN – con’t

knew it had to be a dream, cause I don’t normally go for hairy.

MAN

You don’t like a hairy chest?

WOMAN

Never understood the Tom Selleck, Alec Baldwin hairy chest attraction.

MAN

Really?! I heard, biologically, women are predisposed to be attracted to the primal, masculine hairy proof of testosterone.