1st woman:  Do you think he’s ok ?

2nd woman:  I’m not sure, that’s quite a bump he’s got there and he keeps mumbling something about it being Blackdrop not Mintcake that drove him up the mountain. Says he’s going to keep on walking ’til the soles fall of his shoes. I think he’s probably concussed.

Do you have your mobile? Emergency services might be wise.

1st woman:  Yes, yes I’ve got it right here and there seems to be a full signal too; which is nice. I always assume that there’ll be no signal during a bona fide crisis … I guess that must just be the pessimist in me. I always tend to imagine the worst case scenario. Billy always used to say I was a bit of a doom merchant. I don’t think I am though, You don’t think I’m a bit of a doom merchant do you ?

2nd woman:  God’s sake Dot, never mind all that, you can be such a flibbertigibbet, just ring an ambulance will you, he seems to be drifting off again. Hurry up !

1st woman:  Ah Hello, Yes, Ambwlance service please.

Location ? Oh yes of course, hang on.

Mary what’s our exact location ?

2nd Woman:  Sweet Jesus ! Give me the bloody phone … You do my head in !  Just go over there and see if you can make him comfortable, take your fleece off, roll it up like a little pillow and pop it under his head or something. Do you think you can manage that ?

Hello, Ambwlance Service  …  Sorry, yes we’re still here, our location is approximately two thirds of the way up the west side of Cader Idris in Snowdownia National Park.

No, I’m afraid I can’t be any more specific but there’s a man here who’s in need of some urgent medical assistance. Visible head injury, looks like he’s been out all night;  inadequately dressed and probably hypothermic.

He’s been drifting in and out consciousness and babbling something about the Goddess being the only female you can ever truly rely on.

Keeps banging on about how he’s been walking hills for a hundred and fifty years.

Reckons he’s a poet too but according to local legend they all say that ~ Madder than a big bucket of sherbet frogs if you ask me !

How long ?

An hour and a half ! … Oh, shame -

Poor old bugger’ll most probably be dead by then.