Image via Wikipedia

It is present time. Jane’s flat. It is winter. There is some noise coming from the street below where a protest is taking place. There is a knock on the door. Jane opens the door:

Jane                 Mum!

Tracey              Yes, I know,

Jane                 What are you doing here?

Jane                 Mum?

Tracey              What?

Jane                 What are you doing here?

Tracey              I had a few bits to get and I forgot…. all about that.

Jane                 You should have called, or txt me.

Tracey              I can’t be doing with all that txting lark.

Jane                 What if I’d been out, mum?

Tracey              I don’t know. Please don’t shout. I’ve had enough for one day.

Jane                 Well, you’ll have to stay here now.

Tracey              Sorry love,

Jane                 Do you want a drink?

Tracey              Cup of tea, you’re home early.

Jane                 We got sent home, plenty of people didn’t even go in.

Tracey              I’ll have to go home later, the dog will need letting out,

Jane                 She’s a dog mum!

Tracey              That’s right and being a dog she can’t use the toilet, which is why she needs letting out. I don’t want her going all over that sofa – I haven’t finished paying for it yet.

Jane                 Whatever mum, but last week it went on all night.

Tracey              What a nuisance, Got any biscuits?

Jane                 Ryvita?

Tracey              That’s not a biscuit.

Jane                 I haven’t been shopping, I could do you some toast?

Tracey              Don’t worry, so how’s Mike?

Jane                 He’s fine

Tracey              Oh good.

Jane                 Actually he’s gone to stay with his mum for a bit,

Tracey              Is she alright?

Jane                 Yes, she’s fine, just needed a few jobs done, you know.

Tracey              Well as long as they’re both fine.

Jane                 Yes, they are.

Tracey              Good.

Beat

Jane                 I think she finds it all a bit of a struggle, the house, it’s much too big for her isn’t it?

Tracey              Yes, I suppose so,

Jane                 What?

Tracey              What do you mean?

Jane                 Why are saying it like that?

Tracey              I’m not saying it like anything, I don’t know if the house is too big for her, I barely know the woman.

Jane                 You know what I mean.

Tracey              For goodness sake Jane, I don’t know why you have to be so defensive all the time.

Jane                 Defensive? Oh, don’t start mum.

Tracey              Maybe I should go,

Jane                 Well you can’t, can you.

PAUSE

Tracey              Have you heard from Alex?

Jane                 He called a few days ago actually,

Tracey              Is he alright?

Jane                 Fine, said he was coming down for a week soon, after his exams.

Tracey              When?

Jane                 After his exams, I told you.

Tracey              When is that?

Jane                 Can’t you just ask him yourself,

Tracey              I can never get through, his phones always turned off, or it just goes to answer phone.

Jane                 Well, leave him a message.

Tracey              I do, I don’t think he gets them.

Jane                 Well he gets mine.

Tracey              Maybe I’ll try him again tomorrow. As long as he’s ok.

Jane                 Yes, the precious is doing just fine mum.

Tracey              I don’t know why you have to call him that,

Jane                 I don’t remember you taking such a big interest when I was at college.

Tracey              Yes I did, anyway Alex is at university, not college.

Jane                 Right.

Pause – the noise outside gets louder

Tracey              It’s not this bad at home, Ron next door, you know him with the boxer dog, he got laid off last week, but he hasn’t joined in with it.

Jane                 Well maybe he isn’t going to loose his home like so many of them, I’m not even sure if they’re going to renew my contract.

Tracey              What will you do, if you get sacked?

Jane                 I’m not going to get sacked mum, they just may not renew my contract.

Tracey              Well, you wont have a job will you?

Jane                 Yes, but that’s not getting the sack, is it.

Tracey              Good job you’ve got two wages coming in then, is Mike’s job safe?

Jane                 Of course his job is safe; he’s a Plumber,

Tracey              See, your dad always said it paid to have a trade.

Jane                 Did he?

Tracey              Yes, of course he did.

Jane                 I don’t remember.

Tracey              That’s what he told you both, and he was right. Anymore tea in that pot?

Jane                 It was a bag mum, do you want another one?

Tracey              Yes please, you make a good cup of tea Jane.

Jane                 Must have got that from you!

Tracey              Must have!

Jane goes to make tea, Tracey looks out of window.

Tracey              There’s quite a crowd out there now, oh, did you manage to change that cardigan?

Jane                 Yes, it was no problem,

Tracey              They’re very good at Marks, nice roomy sizes too.

Jane                 Well I just got a refund in the end, they didn’t have a twelve.

Tracey              Oh that’s a shame, what did you buy then?

Jane                 Nothing yet, didn’t see anything I liked.

Tracey              Well don’t just spend that money then will you, I mean get something for yourself,

Jane                 I will, but I just didn’t like anything.

Tracey              I purposefully didn’t give you money,

Jane                 For goodness sake mum, does it matter what I spend it on, it’s my money isn’t it? It was my present.

Tracey              I know, but……

Jane                 Tell you what, I’ll give you the money back, and you can buy something you want me to have,

Tracey              I just wanted you to have a present.

Jane                 I’ll have to give you a cheque.

Tracey              Don’t be ridiculous Jane, I’m sure you will buy yourself something nice.

Jane                 You sure you don’t want that cheque?

Tracey              Oh stop being silly.

Pause

Tracey              I hope the dogs alright.

Jane                 She’ll be fine mum.

Tracey              She’ll be scared, and I didn’t leave any lights on. She’s scared of the dark.

Jane                 Only because you treat her like a baby, she’s a bloody dog.

Tracey              I know, but I’d be lost without her.

Jane                 A dog.

Tracey              Well, you say that, but she’s always there for me, she doesn’t ignore my messages, or talk to me like I’m stupid, she’s just happy to see me.

Jane                 Perfect daughter!

Tracey              Are you jealous of the dog?

Jane                 Desperately.

Tracey              I’m surprised you and Mike have never thought of getting one,

Jane                 What?

Tracey              A dog, to take on those long country walks, you’re so fond of.

Jane                 Mike doesn’t think its fair, if there’s no one at home in the day,

Tracey              Well you might be.

Jane                 Let’s hope not.

Tracey              Well you can’t work for ever, not if you want a family.

Jane                 We’re discussing pets not children,

Tracey              Yes, I know that.

Jane                 We’re not planning on either,

Tracey              They say the pill can hold things up.

Jane                 Yes, I heard that!

Tracey              I mean when you take it for years, and then decide you want a baby, it can stop you getting pregnant, they call it ‘trying’ for a baby.

Jane                 Well we’re not trying,

Tracey              Fancy having to try, what does that mean? Do they take a run up?

Jane                 Maybe the man goes a bit faster!

Tracey              Yes that would be a man’s interpretation of trying.

Jane                 Well, you don’t want to try too hard, or it’s all over in a minute.

Tracey              Not with your dad,

Jane                 Oh no, mum, please!

Tracey              Sometimes he tried like there was no tomorrow!

Jane                 Disgusting!

Tracey              So, why has Mike gone to his mums?

Jane                 I told you, his mums not been well.

Tracey              Oh yes, in that big house on her own, poor old thing.

Jane                 She’s not that much older than you mum.

Tracey              She blinking well is.

Jane                 She gets lonely.

Tracey              She should get a dog.

lighting change.

Tracey gets up. Jane doesn’t appear to notice

 

Tracey              We always had dogs; grew up with a mongrel called Dolly, Heinz 57 my dad called her, I used to walk her miles, until they built the motor-way, she didn’t like the noise you see, all those cars in such a hurry, makes you wonder which ones are going in the wrong direction.

Jane                 I hate it when she does this; talking about pets, when she really means babies,

Tracey              Of course when I was a girl people only had one car that was all they could afford, not like today; today you have three car families. In Manchester, where my sister lives, there are cars everywhere, two or three parked up outside houses, they don’t even look like they work, just rusting away. I don’t know why people have them, if they can’t afford to keep them.

Jane                 I’m not even sure I’m ready for children.

Tracey              That’s something I never did; learn to drive.

Jane                 I mean, how do you know?

Tracey              I regret it now, but I’m too old for all that,

Jane                 I’m only 24, I’ve got years to worry about having kids. Maybe we should think about a dog. A Pit-bull perhaps!

Lighting change. Tracey returns to her chair.

Tracey              Mrs Mason retired.

Jane                 Who?

Tracey              Mrs Mason, you know, she runs the charity shop, well she doesn’t anymore, yes, she’s gone, so I don’t know who’ll be in there now.

Jane                 Well she was quite old when we went in there, and that was years ago.

Tracey              We got some real bargains in that charity shop, I’m always amazed by what people turn out.

Jane                 I always thought it stank in there, horrible smell; dead people.

Tracey              Don’t be stupid, it doesn’t just come from people that have died. No, you get some good stuff in charity shops now, all those rich ladies just throw away and buy new, mind you, they’ll have to stop all that if this lot carries on much longer.

Jane                 It’s those steamers they use, makes all the clothes smell funny.

Tracey              Well they use those to clean and iron the clothes, because they usually arrive screwed up in dustbin bags.

Jane                 That doesn’t clean them, it just embeds the filth into the fabric, probably why they smell.

Tracey              Well, you were glad enough of the bargains we got in there.

Jane                 No, I wasn’t.

Tracey              Yes, you were. Don’t you remember those trousers you bought, bright red, your dad hated them, wouldn’t take them off. They came from Mrs Mason’s shop.

Jane                 I can’t remember.

Tracey              Well I can and I don’t even think you asked me to wash them before you wore them!

Jane                 I doubt that.

Tracey              Ah, well, we forget where things come from, once we start to love them

Jane                 I hardly fell in love with a pair of second hand jeans, mum.

Tracey              See, you do remember.

Jane                 I remember that I was the only one at school who had to wear home made knitwear.

Tracey              It was one cardigan, anyway people pay a fortune for hand made clothes these days. I can’t believe you’re still going on about it.

Jane                 I’m emotionally scarred.

Tracey              Your Nan made you that, and you chose the wool,

Jane                 Only because I had to.

Tracey              Well I thought you liked it, she worked hard on that, she had that bad arthritis in her fingers as well,

Jane                 It was the guilt tripping that got me into it, hideous thing. I’d never make my kids wear clothes they didn’t like.

Tracey              I didn’t make you wear clothes you didn’t like.

Jane                 Well, you did.

Tracey              You wait until you have children of your own, you wont be so sniffy then, not when you’ve got bills to pay.

Jane                 I pay bills now.

Tracey              Yes, but you don’t have children to worry about now, do you?

Jane                 No.

Tracey              Anyway, you didn’t know what was from Mrs Masons shop, she had all the labels, no one would ever know. Beat You remember that lovely white dress you wore to Rita’s wedding?

Jane                 Yes, of course I do.

Tracey              Well that was a Mrs Mason!

Jane                 It didn’t smell like it.

Tracey              No, well, I had it dry cleaned, you were delighted with it, I wrapped in up in pink tissue paper. It looked just as good as what those bridesmaids wore, anyway.

Jane                 I don’t believe you mum.

Tracey              What?

Jane                 Why couldn’t you buy me something new, just for once, it was a wedding, everybody all dressed up in their best, and there’s Jane in her cast off’s, bloody hell mum. I bet Alex didn’t have a second hand suit.

Tracey              I don’t know why you’re saying that, you loved that dress, it was from Laura Ashley.

Jane                 But it wasn’t, was it.

Tracey              Had the labels in, and everything.

Jane                 Yes, I remember them.

Tracey              Would have cost a fortune new, you looked a picture in it, and Dad took that photograph didn’t he?

Jane                 I don’t remember.

Tracey              You should have been a brides maid, don’t know why they didn’t ask you,

Jane                 Maybe it was the Mrs Mason original or maybe it was because I was fat,

Tracey              Don’t be silly, you’re not fat.

Jane                 Not now.

Tracey              You were never fat. You weren’t skinny, but I wouldn’t say you were fat.

Jane                 You used to say it mum, come on, you know I was fat.

Tracey              Oh no, you were cute,

Jane                 That’s not what you said.

Tracey              Well I can’t remember saying you were fat.

Lights change. Jane moves to centre stage. Tracey doesn’t seem to notice.

Jane                 I can.

Tracey              Things always seem different when you look back,

Jane                 Picked the name to fit the child.

Tracey              My dad’s hands always seemed huge,

Jane                 Or did you even pick it?

Tracey              like spades they were. When he carved the joint on a Sunday I would watch his hands, the knife was like a toy in his big fist. But when I dressed him for his funeral the first thing I noticed was his hands, so tiny, all wrinkled up and small.

Jane                 Maybe someone else picked it.

Tracey              Like someone had deflated him, all empty, like a soft walnut shell.

 Jane                No. It was defiantly you, wasn’t it. A plain name, for a plain Jane..        

Tracey              But he wasn’t like that you see, he wasn’t soft. He was a hard man, a hard proud man, with great big hands.

Jane                 Why don’t you like me mum?

Tracey              I just wanted him to like me.

Jane                 Why can’t you just be proud of me

Tracey              That day I dressed him, that was the first time I can remember holding his hand.

Lighting change

Jane                 Are you hungry Mum?

Tracey              Well, if you’re going to eat, but don’t worry about cooking just for me.

Jane                 Not sure what I’ve got in, Mike usually does the shopping.

Tracey              Does he?

Jane                 Yep, he’s a Renaissance man!

Tracey              What on earth is that supposed to mean?

Jane                 Just that he doesn’t expect me to do all the housework.

Tracey              What? And he does the grocery shopping too?

Jane                 Well, not always, we usually go together,

Tracey              I thought you said Mike does the shopping

Jane                 Look, do you want something to eat, or don’t you?

Tracey              Yes, if you’re doing something for yourself.

Jane                 I’ll go and see what I can find.

She exits

Tracey              I wonder how much longer this will go on? The dog will be really upset; she didn’t even get her walk today, poor old girl.

Jane                  from the kitchen I’ve got some eggs

Tracey              That’s fine Jane.

Jane                 I’ll scramble them,

Tracey              I expect you will.

PAUSE lights change

Tracey              I only ever wanted one child. It doesn’t seem like a lot to ask for. Just one, one of my own, something of my own. We were so surprised when they offered us two. A boy and a girl. He was over the moon, so happy to have a son. A son and a daughter. Form after form we had to fill in, worried in case we had said the wrong thing, ticked the wrong box. Beat It was a Wednesday when they arrived. It was pouring with rain, great dollops of rain, and cold, bitterly cold. The miners were on strike and we’d had blackouts all that week, we were terrified they wouldn’t leave them, in case the lights went out again. But they did, they just left them, and drove away. I didn’t even think about the woman who must have been missing them already. I just thought they were beautiful, and mine.

Jane enters with two plates of scrambled eggs

Jane                 I didn’t know how much toast you wanted, but there’s plenty of bread,

Tracey              Oh no, this will be more than enough. Oh, I didn’t think you were eating bread anymore?

Jane                 Why?

Tracey              I thought you were on those Ryvita things again.

Jane                 No.

There is the sound of windows breaking from the street    

Tracey              What on earth was that?

Jane                 Bloody hell, they better not touch my car.

Tracey              Well, if anything happens, you’ll have to claim it on the insurance.

Jane                 I don’t want to claim it on the insurance mum, why should I loose my no claims, what bloody right have they got to damage other people’s property?

Tracey              I agree, it was the same at……

Jane                 I’ve worked fucking hard for that car,

Tracey              Don’t talk like that Jane, I’m sure it will be alright,

Jane                 Will it? How do you know, when was the last time that you had your belongings destroyed in a riot? Its mine mum, mine, no one should be allowed to take it away from me, no one.

She breaks down

Tracey              Jane, whatever is the matter? Come on, don’t upset yourself,

Jane                 I’m just so sick of it all,

Tracey              What do you mean love, sick of what? Is it the job, are you worried about that?

Jane                 No, I don’t care about my job, I can get another one,

Tracey              Don’t know if it’s as easy as that these days, we’ve lost two from the checkout, and Barbara from the tobacco kiosk….

Jane                 Look, I don’t care about that shitty job, ok, and if I can’t find another one then I’ll go on the social, everyone else does, I’ve worked enough, why shouldn’t I get paid to sit on my arse, Alex has done it long enough.

Tracey              No he hasn’t.

Jane                 Oh no, heaven forbid that Alex could ever put a foot wrong.

Tracey              Now stop it, if it’s not the job then what is the matter?

Jane                 I don’t know mum, maybe I’m just sick of not being quite good enough.

Tracey              What do you mean, of course you are, not good enough for who?

Jane                 It’s Mike, he’s been having an affair,

Tracey              He told you that?

Jane                 Of course he didn’t tell me, he didn’t have to,

Tracey              Then how do you know?

Jane                 I just do.

Pause

Tracey              Did I ever tell you about the time I thought your dad was seeing another woman?

Jane                 No.

Tracey              Jackie Smyth, she worked in the co-op, attractive, in a brassy way,

Jane                 And dad fancied her?

Tracey              Well, I thought he did.

Jane                 What happened?

Tracey              Oh I don’t know, he started acting strange, staying late at work, at the pub. Then one Wednesday he came home with a bunch of flowers; stocks, my favourite. I thought he was going to leave me.

Jane                 I never knew about that,

Tracey              He sat me down on the settee, I can remember, clear as a bell, Coronation Street was on the tele.

Jane                 Oh my God, what did he say?

Tracey              He told me he had the cancer, cancer, and do you know all I could feel was relief. Relief that he wasn’t going to leave me for Jackie Smyth.

Jane                 Oh mum,

Tracey              Things aren’t always what they seem Jane. You should talk to him.

Jane                 But he doesn’t…we don’t…I don’t think he loves me anymore.

Tracey              Of course he does.

Jane                 Then why doesn’t he want to sleep with me then? He hasn’t been near me for weeks, and I’ve tried mum, I really have, but he’s not interested in me anymore. Who can blame him?

Tracey              Don’t be silly.

Jane                 Silly?

Tracey              Well, there’s no point getting all melodramatic is there, that won’t help.

Jane                 I’ll tell you what doesn’t help mum, it doesn’t help to listen to you putting me down all the time.

Tracey              I don’t do that,

Jane                 Yes you do, you always have, it’s no wonder I’m insecure is it?

Tracey              Don’t be ridiculous of course you’re not insecure,

Jane                 How would you know?

Tracey              Well, you’ve got a good job

Jane                 Which I’m about to loose,

Tracey              I don’t know Jane,

Lights change

Jane                 I know he loves me. It’s me that’s wrong. It’s me that’s pushing him away.

Tracey              She’s always been like this.

Jane                 But it’s her fault

Tracey              She’s always been the same,

Jane                 Drip, drip, drip.

Tracey              Always wanting to be the centre of attention.

Jane                 I just wanted her notice me

Tracey              Thinking the universe revolves around her.

Jane                 It must be hard to love something that isn’t really yours.

Tracey              She must take after her father.

Lighting change. Pause.

Jane                 You don’t have to eat all that, if you don’t want it.

Tracey              Sorry love,

Jane                 Not that hungry myself.

Tracey              I wish I’d brought my slippers.

Jane                 I don’t have any, I’ve got some bed socks you can wear?

Tracey              You don’t wear socks to bed, do you?

Jane                 No, not that Mike would notice.

Tracey              I’m sure he would

Jane                 Not from the sofa he wouldn’t.

Beat

Tracey              Well, I got asked out on a date!

Jane                 A date? Who by?

Tracey              Arnold Baxter, cold meats.

Jane                 From work?

Tracey              Yes, asked me to a piano recital at the Guild hall.

Jane                 You sure it’s a date,

Tracey              Well, he said we could go for a fish supper afterwards, so yes, I think that would be a date.

Jane                 Doesn’t he have a wife?

Tracey              She died, two years ago – cancer as well –lovely woman she was.

Jane                 What, you knew her?

Tracey              Of course I knew her, she used to come in to see Arnold, and I met her a few times at Christmas do’s and that.

Jane                 Did he know dad then?

Tracey              Your dad never really went to any of my work do’s,

Jane                 That’s weird!

Tracey              Well he never really liked those social things.

Jane                 No, I mean that you knew her.

Tracey              Why is it, what’s weird about it?

Jane                 I don’t know, just knowing his wife, and anyway he got over her quick if she’s only been dead two years,

Tracey              It might be three……

Jane                 Whatever, it’s not long is it?

Tracey              Well your dad’s been gone almost eight years,

Jane                 Sounds like he just wants a bit of company.

Tracey              I don’t think it’s just that.

Jane                 What do you mean?

Tracey              Well I think he likes me.

Jane                 Do old people still think about that stuff?

Tracey              Less of the old, thank you. Anyway he’s quite a bit younger than me,

Jane                 How old is he?

Tracey              Forty two

Jane                 He’s fifteen years younger than you, mum!

Tracey              I know!

Jane                 Mum!

Tracey              I know,

Jane                 Well, I think it’s disgusting.

Tracey              Why?

Jane                 You’re not going to sleep with him, are you?

Tracey              Don’t be ridiculous.

Jane                 I should bloody well hope not,

Tracey              Well frankly, it’s none of your business really, is it?

Jane                 You’re supposed to be my mother.

Tracey              So I’m not entitled to a life?

Jane                 What, sleeping around with young men?

Tracey              How dare you speak to me like that? I haven’t as much as thought about anyone else, since your dad went. Not that I need to explain myself to you, and so what if I was lucky enough to find a younger man who finds me attractive, well good for me, I’m not dead yet!

Jane                 I don’t believe this!

Tracey              I don’t wish to discuss it anymore.

Light change

Jane                 I don’t believe her. When I was a kid she was always going on about decency, how it was so important to be a ‘nice’ girl. I can remember her chasing me along our street because she didn’t approve of the length of my skirt. Those bloody red jeans that she thinks I loved so much, she’s right, I did live in them, at least they were in fashion. I wanted to be a Punk; bleach my hair, pierce my ears, but pierced ears were for prostitutes that’s what she used to say.

Tracey              When I have a child I’m going to let her do whatever she wants.

Jane                 She used to cycle down the park where we hung out, on a bloody bicycle, and drag me away. No one else had to be in at eight, especially in the summer. God knows how many times she humiliated me in front of my friends.

Tracey              She would never have to eat cabbage

Jane                 I didn’t think she believed in rebellion.

Tracey              Or string beans. I hate string beans.

Light change

Jane                 Sounds as if it might be quietening down out there now.

Tracey              Yes. Maybe I could ring for a taxi, if the roads are clear now.

Jane                 Maybe

Beat

Tracey              I wouldn’t worry too much about Mike. It’s obvious to a blind man that he loves you very much, Jane.

Jane                 Is it?

Tracey              Of course it is, he can’t take his eyes off you.

Jane                 Can’t he?

Tracey              I mean look at him on your birthday, if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t go to that much effort. All your dad ever got me was a box of matchmakers, same every year, never had the heart to tell him I didn’t like the mint.

Jane                 Don’t you?

Tracey              No, my favourite is orange.

Jane                 Why didn’t you just tell him?

Tracey              Don’t be silly, I couldn’t just tell him, he could have turned up with a jar of pickled eggs, and I wouldn’t have told him.

Jane                 But why not?

Tracey              Because I loved him.

Beat

Tracey              Shall we have another drink? It’s almost time for Corrie.

Jane                 I’ll put the kettle on, and I’ll go and find those socks.

Tracey              Lovely. Sounds like it’s calming down out there, at last, I hope the old girl’s alright, fear has a strange effect on that dog, and I haven’t finished paying for that suite yet.

Lights down. End of Act 1.