A fantasy-themed play. Has been selected by a playwright who has had a play on broadway as the best in the class.

I don’t know, but I don’t like it….

 

(Wolf 1 and Wolf 2 enter Stage Right.)

 

WOLF 1

Grrrr……

 

WOLF 2

Hungry….. Haven’t eaten in days.

 

WOLF 1

Look! A human, a half-elf, and a zephyr!

 

WOLF 2

Yummy!

 

(Wolves walk towards center stage. ALADAR, SPOOT and ZIGZAG walk backwards to Stage Left)

 

ZIGZAG

Uh oh.

 

(Spoot starts waving his arms)

 

WOLF 1

Dinner time!

 

(Wolf 1 and Wolf 2 fall down, asleep.)

 

ALADAR

Splendid! Now, who did that?

 

SPOOT

Me! Duh! Didn’t you know I was a mage?

 

ALADAR

You’re EVERYTHING, Spoot.

 

SPOOT

THANK you!

 

ALADAR

That wasn’t a compliment. That means you’re nothing but an egomaniac little half-elf that thinks he can do anything. I WAS SARCASTIC!

 

SPOOT

Mmm hmm.

 

ALADAR

Really! Can’t you recognize sarcasm when you  hear it?

 

SPOOT

Yes, for your information, I can!  (Looks to audience) Zephyrs these days. *sigh*

 

ALADAR

You little, no use, egomaniac, overconfident little……

 

ZIGZAG

Come On! Start walking!

 

(The trio slowly starts walking towards Stage Right)

 

ALADAR

You, Spoot, are as useless as a Lizardman!

 

SPOOT

Well, you SMELL like a HOBGOLBLIN!

 

ZIGZAG

GUYS! Stop ARGUEING!

 

SPOOT

Yeah? Why should we?

 

(Trio arrives at stage right and stop)

 

ZIGZAG

Because we’re here.

 

SPOOT

Oh.

 

(HUNTER enters slowly and silently Stage Left.)

 

HUNTER

(Calmly) Oh, don’t expect to enter right through the front gate. They have an army of hundreds of orcs as well as traps so well placed, a zephyr can’t see it, and a elf, let alone a half-elf can’t sense it. Try the side entrance.

 

ZIGZAG

Who are you?

 

HUNTER

Not your enemy.

 

ZIGZAG

Fine. But WHO are you?

 

HUNTER

(Calmly) I am Hunter, a Ranger from the West. I’ve been ambushing this cave since the Staff was stolen, waiting for a rescue party to come. The Staff was actually stolen a year ago. You trolls didn’t realize it until a couple days ago, I’m guessing.

 

SPOOT

What? Really? I always knew humans weren’t the sharpest sword in the arsenal!

 

ZIGZAG

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