A fantasy-themed play. Has been selected by a playwright who has had a play on broadway as the best in the class.

ZIGZAG

All you have to do is have Hunter, who I’ll tell to stay, act like he’s coming to rescue the staff and have him go through the front entrance. The army of orcs will go out to meet him. Close the portcullis, and cave in the side entrance. Then raise a bunch of undead from the indoor graveyard…

 

SPOOT

There’s an indoor graveyard! Cool!

 

ZIGZAG

Yes. So you raise a bunch of undead to rescue Hunter and kill the orcs. Then the dungeon is yours.

 

SPOOT

Aha! I always knew I could kill a thousand orcs myself! I am awesome!

 

ALADAR

You haven’t even done it yet, troll!

 

SPOOT

Ok, but I will!

 

ZIGZAG

Great! Let’s split!

 

(Zigzag exits Stage Right, Aladar exits stage Left)

 

SPOOT

This is great and all, but it doesn’t feel right. We shouldn’t split up now, in a cave full of hungry orcs, and I shouldn’t just be able to single-handedly slay a thousand orcs. It’s too easy. Something is not right. The Staff isn’t radiating ANY magical power.

 

(Puggy the Orc enters Stage Right holding a staff identical to Spoot’s)

 

PUGGY

That’s cause it’s a fake, loser.

 

SPOOT

What who’s there?

 

PUGGY

Ha! It’s only me, Puggy the Orc, the thief that stole the Staff of Ages, and the greatest dark wizard of all time! Muahahahahaha! (Thunder sound) How brave of you, to come and try to recover the Staff of Ages alone. You think it was this easy? Come in a side entrance, knock a knocker, pick a lock, and sneak out? No way! You have your biggest challenge yet. ME!

 

SPOOT

I knew it!

PUGGY

Oh, and did I mention, I’m going to kill you right now with the REAL Staff of Ages!

 

SPOOT

Rats!

 

(Puggy raises his staff. Spoot starts waving his arms. Puggy ducks. Puggy twirls his Staff and points it at Spoot. Spoot ducks, but still falls)

 

PUGGY

That was too easy! Now to kill you!

 

(Puggy walks towards Spoot and leans over him with his staff pointed. Suddenly, Puggy falls over. Hunter enters Stage Left with his bow drawn)

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