Prisoner: Yeah, but his was a lot nicer…

Satan: That does it for Envy, And Greed, well your behavior at office picnics, is just obvious, and Lust, what about that young intern you had working for you in the office….

Prisoner 1: (indignantly) I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Defense 1: Your Honor, Objection! That is hearsay, he is not charged with that crime.

Satan: Side bar your Honor?

(They walk to the Judges bench and speak in undertones.)

I refer your Honor to case no 1345789308 Pharisees v J Jssssus Christ, ooh that’s a hard name to say aloud, I feel a real pain in my head every time I hear it too.

Defense 1: Oh you mean Jesus Christ?

Satan: Ahh!, don’t say that name! His Honor ruled that lusting after a woman in the heart is the same as committing it.

God: Hmmm, the ruling is admissible, defendant is guilty of Lust. The defendant is therefore guilty as charged and sentenced to an eternity in the lake of fire, no chance of parole. Next case please…Let’s get a move on, I’m going sailing in the Orion Nebula this afternoon

Bailiff: Docket No. 2, John Doe. He is charged with embezzlement, and deadly sins 1 through 5 inclusive, namely, Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, and Anger. (P2 walks to the stand)

God: How do you plead?

Prisoner 2: I plead Guilty, (Winks at God), the DA promised me immunity.

God: (To Satan) is that true? Hah, is that true, you’re the father of lies, like, as if you’d tell the truth. Besides even if you did tell him that, I have said it over and over, Authority now rests with my Son Jesus.

Satan: (Cringes) ah, there’s that name again…

God: Consequently, the accused is guilty as charged and sentenced to an eternity in the Lake of fire. Next case.

Bailiff: Your Honor, Docket No. 3. (Insert familiar name here). He is charged with cussing, lewdness, and deadly sins, 1 through 7 inclusive.

God: How do you plead?

Prisoner 3 Guilty as charged, Your Honor. I throw myself at your mercy.

Satan: Wow, this is going to be an easy one, he’ll get the book thrown at him, without my doing anything, heh heh.

God: Has counsel explained the consequences of a guilty plea? Where is your counsel?

(Jesus, enters the court as defense counsel, carrying a large book)

Jesus: Jesus Christ your Honor, Dad. Counsel for the accused.

God: Oh I see has the accused accepted your free gift of Salvation?

Jesus: Yes he has your Honor, look, here’s his name in my book of life. (shows book).

God: Well done, congratulations, the prisoner is free to go and enjoy eternity and drink of the life giving water, and eat of the tree of eternal life.

Satan: Dang! Lost another one, the boys said we had this one in the bag,

(talks into pocket recorder)

note to self, do something about preachers visiting jails.)

(Satan walks to the Door same time as Jesus, they look at each other)

Jesus: Get thee behind me Satan!

(Exit Jesus.)