In tears, I scream at the top of my lungs
For someone to rescue me
and not just look through me
For someone to recognize
that I am not just teen aged
But I’m a teen aged catastrophe.
My peers pressure me into wrong thinking.
Family expectations weigh heavily
upon my shoulders
and I feel like I’m sinking.
Too young to be taken seriously
and too old to play dumb
My responsibilities from day to day
Cause for me to grow up in a major way
But the truth is I just stopped
sucking my thumb.
I sit in school and I try to concentrate
so that I can at least get ahead
But at night I hear the screams of my parents
while I lay in my bed.
and yes I want to go to college
Because I can’t wait to get away
But we can barely keep the lights on
So I don’t know how I will pay
I have a job to help make ends meet
I don’t expect that things will change
Instead of buying food for his family
my father shoots it up his veins.
I’ve seen way too many things before my time
But I’m told to stay in a child’s place
Quite honestly,
I’ve never known how to just be young
and have fun
so confusion
starts to move in
and it’s written itself all over my face.
I can’t live up to the girls
in the magazines
or the guys in the back of limousine’s
who pop bottles for sport
and neither one of my parents wanted me
when they finally split up
so they decided to let the judge
handle it in court.
I go to church with granny on the weekends
Where people tell me
“Sex is bad”
But whenever I have sex
that’s the only place I fit in
So I turn to sex when I feel sad.
I rarely ever pay attention in class
My teacher thinks
that I think she’s boring
But she doesn’t  understand
that it’s hard to concentrate
when you don’t eat breakfast in the morning.
My little sisters and brothers look up to me
they look to me to be their guide
and at the end of the day
that’s the only thing
standing in the way
of me and suicide.
I don’t understand why my mom
married him.
If you ask me it’s way too soon
She never took the time to notice
that while she’s sleeping
He comes into my room
And makes me do things
NO CHILD SHOULD DO!!!
But I just keep it to myself
I’ve learned that NO ONE cares to listen
I’ve learned that NO ONE cares to help.
So I act-out because I AM AILING
the pain is clear to see on my face
It’s getting harder and harder everyday
For me to stay in “A Child’s Place”.
 
(c) I AM KING