‘Twas  several weeks before Christmas, when I sat down at a desk

A letter to write, but it felt statuesque.

What had happened this year, and why couldn’t I write it?

Perhaps a poem would fit, so I thought I would try it!

Florida’s our home, but now Kansas as well

The family lives half in half, and it’s sort of like hell.

Despite all the confusion we’re doing okay,

But we’re looking forward to Christmas so that we can all play.

Jamie and Mike, in Ohio, have the little one of which I am fond

The kid’s called Nora, and she is oddly blond.

But wait! Another baby is soon to be born;

Lily she’ll be, on some February ‘morn.

Kristin, in Orlando, is still working with her critters,

And renting a house so cute it nearly glitters.

Chemistry, right now, she is studying too,

Which is better than me; it’s something I’d never do.

Mom and Dad are apart because the house refuses to be bought,

But, never fear, there’s no cause to be distraught!

Airplanes and airports, what a mighty fine thing,

And, thanks to them, Dad’s been visiting.

And what of me, you might ask, our dear raconteur?

Well, I live in a mansion of the greatest grandeur!

No, sorry, that’s a lie; I live in a dorm,

At Kansas University, and it’s oddly warm.

So that is the family Christmas letter!

It’s been a fun year, but we’re hoping the next one is better.

Now, for my last couplet, I wish you a happy winter season,

Celebrate like a beast, but only get sloshed within reason.

Merry Christmas everybody!