Beautiful work, as always.

Beautiful poem dedicated to such a lost soul. Your words and structure were excellent, and the meaning of the poem was conveyed in a caring and concerned manner that only you could pull off. Well done friend.

Well, that was an interesting poem. I didn\’t see Drew in it till your last line, but I don\’t really know the man. Good writing.

Haunting and meaningful, your words here attempt much. Good job. The meter needs a little more work, though.

Very, very powerful. Beautifully done.

Hi, Serenity, how are you?
I like the struggling sense of trying to define darkness and light here. My hope is that you or this Drew person have not lost yourselves between those lines. I know firsthand how difficult that can be. I’ve fallen into some dark wells of my own. At least there is reason to seek the light on those occasions.

As for the content itself: I noticed that in the last two lines of your first stanza, because you liked the word darkly, you repeated it where a noun should be. Darkly is an adverb, don’t forget, so, even though you like the word, you’ll have to submit a noun to function with the verb that acts with it: darkly can’t take a toll, but darkness can, as can depression or sorrow. If however, you are saying that melancholy–darkly–takes a toll, you might need to make it a little more obvious.

Also, you have capital letters at the first of every line, even when the previous line is not a complete sentence, or ends with a comma. You should remember that, especially in poetry, English grammar is not subject to poetic license. The practice of capitalizing the beginning of every line was a habit that 19th century poets adopted after some publishers claimed that’s how it should be. Yet, after the passing of the Victorian Age, such habits were doffed by early 20th century poets, in favour of clearer language.

One last thing,… instead of ‘auger’, the word you’re looking for is ‘augur’.

Thanks for sharing and have a good day.

This a very beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing it will us.

Wow. Left me speechless…

Beautiful

Auger – augur: Mesa submit fix.

Darkly: “And darkly takes its toll” has two meaning for the writer. That the price for such sadness is high, and that darkly as a thing, that thing being evil or the devil, if you like, similarly demands a due.

I also like to use a word twice sometimes, where it fits, as a mechanism to aid flow.

This is my favorite passage in this poem.

I like the form whereby the first letter of every line is capitalised, it is the way I was taught.

I disagree with your conception of what poetic license is.

Thank you for taking the considerable time you took in reviewing this piece. I take it as a great compliment.

Your friend,

Serenity.

You must be something to know in real life Serenity.

I am extremely envious of those who know you well.

I wonder if their hearts beat in awe of you, as mine does.
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How could they not?

Step calmly through the night. Hand in hand.
I am in awe of you both.

Please.

My name say’s it all,you should try to use true feelings instead of what you think will bring the most praise! It was ok at best.sorry

Please delete my earlier submissions,
I realise what a magnificent tour-de-force this is.
I feel that weight, too; a sense of reconciliation here between two halves. A need for one to complete the other.

I’m sorry you.

Brilliant.

I love that ’sadness’ ‘words’ and ‘dream’ were repeated in each stanza.
Again, brilliant. Don’t listen to the herd.

Monkeywithagun.

Your words are too kind.

I am happy my prose touched you. It’s every artists dream.

your friend,

Serenity.

Serenity,
This poem is great and yes I am at awe. Please tell me the details of where you have learn to write. I have been trying to contact this person you write about. Why doesn’t he want to talk to me and only tells me to talk to you and Karelee? Your poem has brought my clues to my eye, but yet he still stays a mystery to me. Please write back to me.

You are very gifted and I admire you so. Thank you for this beautiful peice. We love Drew, dont we? Hey! write more dark stuff…I like it through your lines.

This one seemed to have passed me by… beautiful as always. You can do things with words noone else can.

Absolutely brilliant!

This is a beautifully written poem!

Beautiful again, you are an extremely talented poet

‘Darkly’ takes its toll indeed – and his name is apparently Sears.
I actually interpreted that line to read: (it -the melancholy soul) darkly takes its toll, and was in no way distracted by your usage of the word there. The poem quite nicely speaks for itself, irrespective of capitalization or definitions of poetic license.
It’s a beautiful piece, with clever devices. My kind of poetry.

Wow. This is the kind of poetry I aspire to write. So beautiful and full of meaning.

Very hopeful; I like the rhythym of these lines