A Sense of Dread

Lady Sunshine on Oct 25, 2009

Tags: afraid, dread, fear, frozen, Haibun, Haiku, Prose, Stranger, trapped, unease

Something I experienced two nights ago…and in front of my home, no less! I’m still creeped out by it. This is my attempt at the Japanese literary form of haibun, a combination of prose and haiku.

A sense of unease gripped me, my pulse quickening, my heart pounding. This sense of dread overwhelmed me, leaving me frozen, unable to move. I felt trapped, as fear grew, not knowing what to do. Who is this stranger? Why is he here? What is he going to do? I wanted to run but could not, too afraid to. So I kept my doors locked, hoping he would go away. Please go away…

Unfamiliar eyes
Watching me as I sit here
Hiding in my car

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Comments (15)

ken bultman on Oct 25, 2009
That’s a good poem, girl, but I don’t like Mr. Creepy. Maybe he just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar.
Papa Sparks on Oct 25, 2009
I am really impressed with how you try out different kinds of writing styles and in this case, how experimentation works out quite well. To explain or write about what happened to you would need some tempo and meter to make it work and that is what comes across in this piece here. Clear, vivid images. You are a good writer and I am always delighted to read your latest pieces here.
deep blue on Oct 25, 2009
That’s the downside, lady s. You unconsciously ‘purrred’ in your previous poetry and the stalker sensed the odd signals. BTW have a pepper spray or a stun gun with you for protection. Unless of course you know some Korean kungfu. Your lines express it well.
Guy Hogan on Oct 25, 2009
You’ve captured a frightful moment. It ’s good to know everything turned out okay. This genre of prose and poetry combined is new to me. Your work shows that the genre has real possibility.
Sourav on Oct 25, 2009
Nice work!
johnnydod on Oct 25, 2009
once again a masterpiece, keep up the good work sunshine
Christine Ramsay on Oct 25, 2009
That sounds like a frightening experience. I like the way you explained how you felt.

Christine
Lostash on Oct 25, 2009
Unpleasant experience, Lady! On the other hand, good inspiration!!
cutedrishti8 on Oct 25, 2009
A well expressed experience
martinpm on Oct 26, 2009
well expressed, really liked the way you have put your lines.
papaleng on Oct 26, 2009
Good thing nothing bad happened to you, A very nice write.
T. S. GARP on Oct 26, 2009
Well done!
Shirley Shuler on Oct 26, 2009
Hi Lady Sunshine, I am glad you are alright, you expressed it well, as always!!
Teves on Oct 27, 2009
Nice poem sunshine…
giftarist on Oct 27, 2009
Great comments above,
Well done Lady!

A Sense of Dread

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