I lay wake and it is about two in the morn

For
this is the time my ideas are born

The
lights are all out but for the tube

I
glance at my wife’s really nice boob

Though
only one’s shown

Bits
of me have already grown

I
switch off the TV

And
what do I see

A
bright white light has fallen

All
over me

This
could only mean

A
night winter scene

Oh
what a wonderful night this will be

The
sound in my room is practically mute

Side
for the faint cracks of the house, travelling aboot

Then
a gentleman’s holler is heard from afar

It
sounds like it came from the neighborhood bar  

What
was that, I think a door slam?

I
should go see what is wrong with that man

Where
is my robe

For
it’s really cold

Who
dare disturb my quiet winter road?

I
head down the stairs and threw my den

Follow
by two dogs’ way too big for a pen

I
reach for the door

But
drop the floor

Oh
fucking shit, God Damn! And a Whore

The
hollering man is shooting outside

I
slide to the stairs and scream “Get Down and Hide!”

As
the barking subsides

So
does the shots from the hollering guy

So
I’m back on my feet.

What
the hell happened outside?

I
open the door and just a tiss’

Instead
of anger or fear I’m hit with pure bliss

I
almost forgot and almost did miss

How
beautiful a winter snow blanket really just is

I
must wake the wife she has to see this

After
I get new briefs less soaked in piss