I love the way you debate or laugh whenever we agree to disagree,
or whenever we end each other’s sentences.
I couldn’t pay enough attention at times coz you were so charming.
I love sitting next to you, sharing meals and coffee, realizing that
a day is not enough for the likes of us who never ran out of words and stories.
I love the way you ask me me about how I am getting home.
I love the way you insist on waiting up for me to get inside the cab
before you finally walk to your own ride home.
I love the way you wait up for my message that I am home safe
before you actually go to rest or do another thing.
I love that you always get in front of me whenever we
are about to cross the street.
I love standing next to you, chitchat, then suddenly notice that
I am a midget and you are handsomely giant towering me.
I love the way you say ‘you let me know when you are home’, although
it may not mean anything more but the normal.
I love the way you look me in the eye as if you are reading my soul -your soul.
I love the way you walk beside me, without any touch of uneasiness
seemingly making me proud to walk beside you as well.

I adore you.

I am having inappropriate feelings towards you. I don’t want you
to admire me, or adore me back.
I want you to make me feel you are having inappropriate feelings towards
me as well.

Using “inappropriate feeling” is
a safer term than using the four-letter word
to describe this painful thudding inside me eloquently.
If my life plot is played backwards,
I know where and when to press the ‘pause’,
the ‘replay’ and of course the ’stop’.
Future is something I don’t know how to begin with.
But whatever it is, I hope
for a chance to sit and walk beside you one day,
in a totally different meaning, and a totally different understanding.
To be yours oneday, someday, forever. Even just in dreams.
I might be too flawed to actually think of a chance of this, of you.
I might be too damaged to actually hope
to dream dreams, of you, with you.
I might be too scared to have faith in
anything but I know that if you are a pin in a haystack,
I’d be able to pick you in jiffy.
I don’t have this feelings for anyone else but you.
I can’t unadore you.
Screw me. I’m doomed.

I love you.

A three word statement.
It does not even justify the importance that you have in my life.