A TREE FELL ON MY HEAD

Seems like everywhere I go lately, a big tree falls on top of me

From the time I get up in morning, till the time I go to bed

They batter me and bruise me now every day is a dread.

Why do all the trees in the world want to fall on top of my head?

This morning as I lay there as flat as can be

Recouping from another timber blizzard

Wow I must a took a blow to the head

because as I turned my head there before me

Stood a little green lizard

He held up a sign that said,

I sell insurance

Sign here on the dotted line

 and I’ll move that tree off you

Of that you have my assurance.

I turned my head the other way

And there knelt a caveman, badly needing deodorant spray

He said, I sell insurance too

Sign right here, on the dotted line

and I will move that tree for you

I shut my eyes and tried to play dead

When two great big hands slid under my head

A deep mellow voice then said to me

Don’t these hands feel better than that ground?

These hands can easily move that tree

And guarantee to always be around

Just sign right on the dotted line

And before the ink dries you’ll be just fine

Said I to the three, how can I sign

When the tree has broken both hands of mine

Set me free and give me some time

So I can read each and every line

I watched them all turn and go away

Then saw a tiny little general

Quickly coming my way