Every other weekend, my boyfriend and I play Airsoft at a field about an hour or two from our home. Although I have played off and on for years now, I don’t really have that seek-and-destroy militant mentality unless someone pisses me off, and the way the guys at this field play is a little more intense. The past few times we’ve gone out to play, I’ve been sick and unable to do much other than reload and play a supporting role to the gunplay. On one of these weekend support trips I wrote the following poem, observing some of those I have met while at the field.
Facsimiles of soldiers
Weekend warriors that last a day
Spent camouflaging losses
Kill rags and code words
Hollywood action idiom
Reality ignored
But for bruises, cactus cuts, bloodied knuckles, scrapes, scars of battle
Bragged about, paraded proudly, marked in memories till the rematch–
Some simply not aware we are
A joke to those we emulate.
Prefabricated battlefields
Vague rituals of virtue
Painstakingly recolored in the lines
In what crayons we had on hand that day.
Come rain or tinted shine
And we rehashing after,
When enemies are friends again
To share the aftermath with smiles,
Curses, congrats and assistance.
Repair, reload, refuel, recharge
And out again on different teams–
Modern cowboys and Indians.
No physical requirements here;
Armchair quarterbacks, week-long
Office gremlins and student aides
Individual uniforms put on
Pushed into like-colored squads
Some of us snipers or team leaders;
Lone wolves in loose formation
Stalking those we will call friend again.
We are each of us voluntary
Mercenaries paying to fight
Donating to the cause of exacting revenge
For a life that has exacted its tithes
For our refusal to give up one more day
To the unending uneven compromise.
Modernity has robbed us all
More bread and circuses for the rats in the cage–
once a week set free in our “chosen” maze.
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