Every other weekend, my boyfriend and I play Airsoft at a field about an hour or two from our home. Although I have played off and on for years now, I don’t really have that seek-and-destroy militant mentality unless someone pisses me off, and the way the guys at this field play is a little more intense. The past few times we’ve gone out to play, I’ve been sick and unable to do much other than reload and play a supporting role to the gunplay. On one of these weekend support trips I wrote the following poem, observing some of those I have met while at the field.

Facsimiles of soldiers

Weekend warriors that last a day

Spent camouflaging losses

Kill rags and code words

Hollywood action idiom

Reality ignored

But for bruises, cactus cuts, bloodied knuckles, scrapes, scars of battle

Bragged about, paraded proudly, marked in memories till the rematch–

Some simply not aware we are

A joke to those we emulate.

Prefabricated battlefields

Vague rituals of virtue

Painstakingly recolored in the lines

In what crayons we had on hand that day.

Come rain or tinted shine 

And we rehashing after,

When enemies are friends again

To share the aftermath with smiles,

Curses, congrats and assistance.

Repair, reload, refuel, recharge

And out again on different teams–

Modern cowboys and Indians.

No physical requirements here;

Armchair quarterbacks, week-long

Office gremlins and student aides

Individual uniforms put on

Pushed into like-colored squads

Some of us snipers or team leaders;

Lone wolves in loose formation

Stalking those we will call friend again.

We are each of us voluntary

Mercenaries paying to fight

Donating to the cause of exacting revenge

For a life that has exacted its tithes

For our refusal to give up one more day

To the unending uneven compromise.

Modernity has robbed us all

More bread and circuses for the rats in the cage–

once a week set free in our “chosen” maze.

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