You ever notice when you want to blend in you stick out and when you want to be noticed no one sees you? I’m trying to not be noticed now, but I can’t help this feeling that all eyes are on me. I feel like the odd man out. The awkward one that everyone sees hanging out in the corner by himself. If only I could just find my friends. There around here somewhere. I can’t come to these things anymore. I hate what alcohol does to these creatures. Am I the only normal one here. Sometimes I think that I’m just the abnormal one. Born with the gift to think and act differently than everyone else. I want to be different yet I want to fit in and here’s not the place to do it. Should I just leave, or should I say goodbye. If I just sneak out I’ll be that awkward one that just leaves at a party, but if I say goodbye who do I say it too. I don’t know anyone here well enough to say goodbye to. Fuck it I’m just gonna take off. My peripheral vision turns to a tunnel. Door at the other end with all the sounds around me blurred together, but I can’t help but think they’re all directed towards me. Time seems to stop in these moments. I know this is gonna haunt me the whole drive home too. I got more beer to wash these thoughts out though. I just have to keep my cool till I reach the handle. Just turn it, hope no one hears the door open, or sees me leave. I reach for the handle and sneak out of the house as stealthy as possible, but I can’t help but notice that people are noticing me. Are they expecting a goodbye? Are they happy I’m leaving? Fuck them I don’t care about them. They wont remember this later. I hate these awkward moments that I think will never end. Even the whole car ride home the party stays in my mind. I can’t help but think about how I probably embarrassed myself and that everyone is probably talking about me.