Sitting at the computer trying to figure out what to say,
knowing the words are all jumbled around inside my head.
Wondering how to write them down to not cause you pain,
seeing all the images dance around with everything that was said.

My temper rising higher with all of the confusion,
as my finger tap the letters on what is now the keyboard.
Words beginning to appear while I still dont want to talk,
but now all the messages I want you to see what to forward.

Suddenly the phone ringing in my ear of what I know will happen,
hoping I would have more time to figure out how to tel you.
Now or never with all the things I have done to make you hurt,
while hoping that it was all not even true.

Lie after lie coming from what you already know,
wanting to send the messages so you know what they were about.
Seeing your face flash inside my head so many times,
while remembering you will always carry around this doubt.

knowing your voice is trying to tell me the pain  caused,
dropping the phone to the ground when you say what I had feared.
Running to our old room to pack everything I have there,
for my life no longer seems to be anything clear.

Hoping I wouldnt have caused you any pain,
for you were the one I wanted to spend my life with til the end.
Trying to tell you how I feel for you after all that happened,
but the pain was to much to even be my friend.

Calling off our wedding for the one night that made it worse,
realizing all things I had told you when you left me all alone.
Knowing I will never be able to change what happened between us,
while my tears slpwly replace my words on the phone.