Ambiguous Dexterity

Try on the smile say hello.(you best put on a positive show)
No more mumbling speak up loud and clear..(shut your mouth no one cares)
Called your name why did you hide?…(wished you had of stayed outside)
Happy home, family fun….(beat by dad shunned by mum)
Given chances, plenty of time…..(Screw up again get left behind)
           I fabricated a talentless generic rhyme
                    Did i even have it tough?
         Raised with love……(transformed into disgust)
Supportive helping hands…….(are underlined deceitful plans)
     Socially inept, confused too……(manipulated point of view)
        Contingencies to recourse…..(all strategies to be destroyed)
(Try-ed to hide negative in me)….Still cracked and it began to seep
A failure to the human race?…(Apathetic outlook held in place)
(Talk to myself most of the time)..Hypertension, i will be fine?
         Abstracted thoughts run bi lateral lines
 Get de-railed in my mind…Pendulum tilts, now all is askew
    Paranoia blurs line……between……… false and true
                    Should i call it home?
             This unplaced depth in distortion
               Winds me tighter than a spring with Relief
                Bound up till i blurt out
                Lost between expressing and explaining
        Isolated further into abstraction
                I always felt < (0.3+0.7)
        How do i show what they could see
                 Speak there words i can not hear
             I have joy for a key
                  That unlocks no door to break free