And they all think they’re standing still…

but I know that each and every object, the

29 inch Sanyo television, the

Epson stylus photo 830U, the

CD case inexplicably marked:

38374653gd, the

one remaining Christmas card with a Santa surprised at work -

I know they’re all whizzing round the world at

a speed that is somewhat akin to that of a recently-

discovered comet which may or may not hit the Earth;

I know they’re all under the delusion that

they’re stationery, that the only moving object here is

me. 

But when I walk to the kitchen, a walk that’s roughly Eastward,

I am perhaps going faster than they are, or maybe

slower, depending on which direction the earth is spinning.

My calculation is that Eastward is the way we sail, but

I’m open to correction, since I’m also under the

impression that the Southern hemisphere is actually in the North,

though to argue such a rearrangement would set the world aflame.

I’m easily misinformed, however; a stand-up comic’s joke can fool me,

a salesman at a party can sell me nonsense,

a grandmother can spout ancient wisdom and I will rest

happy in my new found knowledge. 

So when I’ve put the jug on, and come back to the lounge,

the jug races ahead of the rest of us;

though facing forwards, I’m walking

backwards, gaining time I lost on my Eastern trip.

Or so I think.   But not being one prone to

contemplation, it’s possible the

29 inch Sanyo television with Dynamic Platinum Flat Screen,

the Epson stylus 830U that prints photo quality reproductions,

the CD case marked 38374653gd as a code to identify its user,

the one left-over Christmas card with a Santa shuffling two wrapped presents from

side to side in an indeliberate manner

all have it over me in the analytical stakes,

and that while they sit they have

the time to discern whether the sun rises in the kitchen,

whether the world rolls like a cricket ball towards a never-to-be-found boundary,

whether the North denies the South’s rightful place,

and whether silent objects, the stuff of still life paintings,

have any ability to think upon their place upon the planet.