I hate myself, for being like that I know the selfish words and things I did I can’t take back.

My only hope is that I can start a new, hopefully I can help your spirit live on and people will see what shined in you.

When I die I hope it’s like beautiful drowning and you’re a part of the wonderful surroundings.

I think it is like swimming in into your skin hopefully then I can feel like it is finally my time to win.

I will tell you things that I never said things that were under lock and key in my head.

How childish of me to think it would never of understood what was going on underneath my mind’s hood.

Now all I wish is that I couldn’t run to you and tell you the latest news the latest dish.

He has moved on you see, I understand time rolls on but I still need my mommy.

The one thing man thinks this is greatest vice, is the one person he could always turn to for advice.

Hopefully I make you proud and your beauty strength and wisdom lives on in me, even though my inner rage rocks the Sea.

You know mommy I look into my love’s eyes that I see you everything that was great about you your love your hope your faith easing your greatest enemies and detractors could not shake.

We’ve decided that when we start our family and have our own little miracle if it happens to be a girl of her after the bravest kindest gentlest one I ever knew Cyndy V.

hopefully you can guide me help me teach her the things I never knew so hopefully one day she’ll grow up to be someone as special as you.