The dogs were barking in the streets
And wouldn’t let me pass
It could have been my purple pants
Or maybe I smelled of bathtub gin

A fat old lady in a Cadillac
Knocked over a fire hydrant on a cat
Made a one legged man climb a tree
Barely stopped before she got to me

My wife skipped town with a truck driving man
After they burned my house to the ground
I bet against the county Mounty and lost
And my mama wouldn’t answer when I called.

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