I stand here on this porch outside of a house that we used to call a home.
Rain is starting to come down harder as I stand there.
Bewildered with my own feelings.
I start to chase after you, but i am forced to stop.
My heart telling my legs not to move.
I stand there. I watch as you get into your car.
You sit there for a moment and I know that you’re looking back at me, begging for me to just walk out to the car to come after you.
I can not move.
It seems that my body has been taken over by something much more powerful then I.
You notice my hesitation and start the engine.
I start to realize that everything I had once built in this house is slowly coming to an end. 
I feel the hot tears start to build up inside.
Being strong is not easy.
I stand there and watch as you back out of what was once our driveway.
I am now there.
Alone.
Cold.
And desperately in shock of my actions.
I’ve made no attempt to come after you.
When I wanted to do so.
I step down from the porch.
I am standing in the rain cold.
Scared.
And alone.
I scream into the dark sky.
I know its a waste..  
I have nothing left.
I feel empty.
I stand there a bit longer and then I head back into the house. 
As I walk through the door I see that this house is no longer a home.
I grab my jacket and my car keys and I go out to my car.
I leave your key under the mat.
Maybe you’ll be back when I come home tomarrow.