Sometimes I’ve been feeling
it’s time to explore
and break myself apart
without getting lost
and ending up
driving into the ocean

I want
I love
I need
you
to feel me from the inside
that’s where I am

I feel myself
in a different time and place
a different planet
a different gender
a different way of being
a different way to feel
a way to swim through the water
without drowning

I feel myself from the inside
and I am
a big orange dream sun
floating in the sky

I am
rivers that drift out to sea
at night when no-one watches

I am
lost clouds and
gale force winds that
blow all the autumn leaves to the ground

Days that are born
in field trees
in the dappled spring early morning sunshine
of half-rememebered
warm
pure orange dreams

Days that sink into the horizon
leaving you gasping for air
as you try to cling on
to any meaning there might have once been
but has since died
in cold nights
staring at the moon
through lightning-esque black branches

Trying to feel something
trying to re-ignite the fire
trying not to feel
trying to loosen the grip
and open the heart and the mind
open arms
embrace the stars
the motorway lights
and the cold
dark
river