I have been going through hell and a massive identity crisis at my young age from all I have suffered through. It has finally taken grasp and hold of me, shaken me deep to the point of staggerign on verge of psychotic break.

She wanders through this life.

Stumbling blindly, scared of every step.

Tears sting her eyes and fall like rain.

She stops to look at her reflection in the puddle of water on the pavement.

Her body is broken and bleeding.

People have beaten and broken her inside and out.

She hits her knees, sharp pain shooting from then as they meet the black top.

She closes her eyes and screams in agony.

………………………………………………………………………

This day is darker than any she had ever known.

Alone and lost to who she was and despising who she has become.

Pain and anger drives her instead of the love an hope she once held so dearly.

She falls into the puddle, her blood dyes it crimson.

She looks to the heavens and screams again.

……………………………………………………………………….

Her agony finds words in her throat.

“Why must this be this way?”

“What have I done so wrong to become this….to go through this?!”

“Why must I suffer so.”

She lays there naked, cold, bleeding.

Not a sole tries to help her, touch her, comfort her.

She feels dead to the world and their apathy only seals her fate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2012 unpublished work. © by Rebbecca Abernathy A.K.A KittyWolfSpirit

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  • girishpuri on Jul 28, 2012

    deep, touching, i like this creation, thanks

  • AmosTheCat on Jul 28, 2012

    I hope you\’re writing about someone else and not yourself. If you are writing about yourself, we cannot know what is going on in your life and we cannot know he pain you have to bear, but I know I am right when I tell you that you are one of hundreds of thousands who suffer the same kind of social isolation and feelings of abandonment. The day after I graduated from high school many years ago I left my brother\’s family\’s house where I lived because I knew his wife never wanted me to come there in the first place. A couple months later my life was a mess. I was hungry a lot. I thought I was at the end of my rope. I made a decision to do something about it. Of course, it was the wrong decision and I still regret it. But in spite of that and other bad decisions, I survived and have had a good life. I am nearly seventy now and would like to erase a few of my younger years but, on the whole, everything worked out OK.
    You will survive too and even flourish someday. You are creative and smart, and that is all I can say about you from what I read in your writing. You say you have hope and I can only reinforce that sentiment. Love life and endure for the time being what life dishes out. But work your way out of these problems. For each problem there is a solution. The solution might seem devastating in the short term but view your while life.
    My niece-in-law was a terrible addict of prescription drugs and lost her nursing licence, children and husband. She stole and prostituted herself for drugs. She lied elegantly and everyone wanted to believe her, until she was arrested. Finally, the last next step was death. There was enough of a spark left in her that she went for rehab and that is where she is now. It will be a long time before anyone has the right to believe anything she says. She has to take the time to convince us all that she can be trusted.
    I hope you are not in this type of a situation and I hope for you that you can accept the help of people you trust to work through your problems. Do not let anyone take over your life, but there are people who genuinely help other people. I hope you find such a person or can work them out yourself. Take care Kitty.

  • Martin Kloess on Jul 28, 2012

    Thank you for this.

  • KittyWolfSpirit on Jul 29, 2012

    Unfortunately this is a poem that is about me. However the wounds are merely.wounds on my spirit, none physical. I am not a drugee, nor do I resort to drugs to get “by” through my personal hell. I appreciate the concern from many of you. Those of you who share my pain and know what hell on earth for yourself can be like, my sympathies, but please keep strong. I stagger on the edge of my own sanity daily, but I keep going. I am trying to get by best I can and I just don’t even know and even fear the next day. I have had so much go wrong that I have been beaten down and almost completely broken spiritually. A friend told me on day, after having not seen me for years that the light in my eyes of hope love and joy was gone and replaced by sorrow and a broken spirit. She said it looked like something had wounded me so deep that I resented all around me and lost my way. I cried when she told me this on the phone the other day. I try to hope and think positive but every time I take a step forward I am yanked a hundred steps back. I do not know what I have done in my life to deserve this. I just hope my life pulls together and gets better soon before I give up completely. I don’t know honestly how much more I can take.

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